Will Power?

Saw a commercial this morning where a little girl walks up to this ladies door and is offering doughnuts for sale. The lady slams the door in the girls face and says, "you're cute". The logo for Kellogs pops up and the word Willpower and a little tidbit about their new protein bar.

In tradition of Chakras we talk about the 3rd energetic space, that of will power. Manipura, the city of jewels, that place where we as individuals find our own space of following our will. Can this space have a duality of "no you cannot have a doughnut" but also that of "do what you will" all found in the belly-ironically enough- this conflict between the yin and the yang, the black and the white in this chakra, in my opinion finds a beautiful shade of gray. 

 

What is our society telling us, and is anyone else out there seeing it? 

It's okay go against what you may want, and lets call it willpower...

What happened to all things in moderation? Be mindful of your choices, knowing that those choices have a direction but regardless follow your will-follow your gut and there you will find strength.

Doodle Notes

Ever take a piece of paper, or like me, take 3 pieces of paper, and just start to doodle. See what words come out, what phrases are sitting on your heart... just let go, move the pen however it wants to move. Make l's that look like t's and vice versa, there are no rules... but you may be surprised what shows up on your piece(s) of paper!

Settled... woah! That one hassnt popped up in a while, but there it is, staring me in the face. Settled. 

i'm feeling a bit...

          settled...

               and i kinda like it...

I'm sorry what?! Needless to say this took me by surprise. As I began to let my pen do the talking, quite a few things came up.

I need structure. Direction. What is it? Why do I feel like I need it? Can I let someone else guide me and still honor myself?-Yes I can. Can I accept help? Am I so stubborn like the sea goat that I am to push it away? I am a stubborn sea goat but I can humble my horns and accept love and compliment. 

I give myself permission to find some structure, to find settlement, to bow my stubborn horns and love this moment. No expectations, just this place where I am right now. Not where I was two months ago, Not where I was 6 months ago, Not where I was a year ago... the Right Here. the Right Now.

Let the pen do the talking, the heart has things to say... 

Finding some beauty in the colors of fall... for where one leaf falls, another, maybe even two, will grow strong and beautiful and That is something to smile about!

Behind the Leaves

Being aware is somethings we often talk about in yoga class. Being aware of your breath, your body and other places you need to check in. While this is great and a vital part of knowing your self, I think there is more to it. Sometimes you have to step back and be aware of life. Situations that arise, some of which simply slide on by, but then those situations that keep tending to come up... those are the big ones, the ones that show up over and over and over again.
I recognized one of those situations today, every fall it tends to come up, and every fall I wonder what I can do about it and think that there is not a lot I can do but apparently there is. I don't know what it is yet but finding out is part of the process.

As the leaves change and fall, take a moment to notice what they reveal, not only about yourself but about those who you love. Once the leaves fall, the sun will shine through the branches and encourage the roots, your roots, to grow strong.

Surprise

As you may know, I recently recovered a box filled with love letters between my grandparents when he was in bootcamp and then in Germany during the Korean War. I have laughed and cried as I read through each of them. Their love is amazing. There was this one piece of paper, I unfolded and began to read which made me laugh and warmed my heart! Enjoy...

"Surprise"

The boss of a medium sized office had hired a 'steno who was out of this world. She has looks, personality and clothes. After looking at her for a few weeks, the boss, a married man, decided that he was going to take her out some night. He approached her and asked if she would like to celebrate his birthday with him at some secluded night spot: she said that she would have to think about it. The next day she consented to go out but offered that they go to her apartment instead of out somewhere. To himself-as any other normal man would, he commented; better than I had planned. Then the night of his birthday, they went to her apartment and had coctails., appetizers dinner, ad some drinks afterwards. A short while after she said : "I'm going to my bed room now and you can come in in five minutes." After four minutes had gone by, the boss started to disrobe. Totally naked by this time, the five minutes were up. He knocked on the bed room door. The voice from behind the door in a sweet tone said come in. A twist of the door knob, the door was open - only to find the rest of the office singing: Happy Birthday to You.



And this pictures just makes me laugh! Love a stingray :)

Ohh Fall

Fall is upon us and for my Kapha self it is not my most favorite time of year. Yes I like the colors that change, and the cozy clothes that cooler weather calls into my closet but.... emotionally its a different story.
In my world fall signifies a time of change, where I embrace change it is a very scary time in its own rights. Fall signifies the collapse of my energy levels, an emotionally unstable time, and a quest to fill my schedule to the brim-keeping buys so the time flies and before I know it there is a warmth on my skin again.

Ayurvedically I am so very kapha, which typically would show up as big and slow. Where on the outside I may not look that way, I do find comfort in those spaces. Moving into this kapha time of year is scary. How do I keep myself going with out an overly stacked schedule?

Cue Capricorn Characteristics...

I begin to plan.
Look for great things to come for this spring and summer. I can say that a retreat is in the works, and scouting places abroad is also on the docket... Now those are things that make my soul smile, that warm me inside and move me. They activate the pitta and vatta characteristics that need to take over this time of year!

As the days progress and get colder and colder I will keep my soul warm with the love of great friends and family, plus a hot chocolate with chai.

Day 3

Feeling better and better, to say that it feels like stinging nettles is what comes instinctually, however Im not really sure what a stinging nettle really is and I may have made it up from Harry Potter? Regardless, things are on the mends which makes me smile! Taking this as a sign for the future that when I feel my skin tingle that my immune system is low and I best get my rest on. I hope I dont have to blog about a day 4, lets lay this pup to rest-goodnight shingles

Day 2

Today is our big equinox celebration at the labyrinth, and as much as I would like to help everyone who is running around getting things set up I'm inside, watching movies. After sleeping just a few hours last night and getting up every 5 hours to take more medicine I thought I would be in the mood for napping today, but no... I find it almost midnight and I'm still awake. The itchy and burny feeling has begun, and even thought I felt pretty good today I took an Aleve. I'm ready for this to be over with...

Happy Fall ya'll

Day 1

After about a week of feeling like someone has been stabbing me in the back and the prickly pain running down my arm and the lovely rash that developed on the left side of my chest and back it was decided to have Dr Jim come to the house and check it out. Who gets shingles? This girl does-apparently those 25 mosquito bites that left scars that I had as a kid were actually chicken pox. So this is my journey because I won't be doing a thing for the next few days until these horse pills are gone. Yes the horse pills I have to take 5 times a day... so far, so good... lots of water, and lots of snacks including fudge stripe cookies.

Honorably Creative

You walk in, and the pews are wooden, the walls are wooden, the floor a non noteworthy color, there is a large bench at the front of the room with a chair... Your mind tells you that you are in a safe space. You are being judged and charged right off the bat except here there are no little baskets passed around. You have been directed in written for to this room, you're not sure whether to feel safe or on edge. After a few hours you are asked to join a group of people at the front of the room... your heart beat accelerates as you say your last name...

"Williams"

They look and you're not listed... You show the paperwork to them, they say you are in the wrong space. I'm sorry if they write you a letter and tell you to go to the blue room and you have the options of blue or red one would pick the blue right? <Just checking in case I was taught wrong and blue was actually red>

Where do I go? We don't know... 

Alright off to the office where the 'secretary' sits <note "secret-ary" as she was both>

"Ohh you're supposed to be in the red room"

"Ok wheres that?"

Across the breezeway, in the glass doors, around your ass, up the elevator and in the secret mystery room on the right...

Half way there I ask directions again... Aha! I find it, a bit more cozy, call it the Methodist church vs the Presbyterian if you will.

Ohh you were not here and the discussion has already happened. Have a nice day.

NO! NO! and No! I'm livid.... I have travels 6 hours to get here, took 2 days off of work THIS is not okay. 

What is this anger that I am feeling... and what do I do with it? 

Wash it away first, a a few tears well up in my eyes, I let them go. Now that is done so time to study up, feel the 2nd and 3rd chakras, find your will power and get creative.

"I'm going to need a note that I am here today please, and no is not an appropriate answer, and you can bet I will be back for this is not over."

They shifted the energetics over towards me, I am tossing it back

How do you deflect your energy from manipulation? When you know without a shadow of a doubt that you have been hoodwinked, what do you do? How do you honorably find that creativity and the will to enact it. 

"Who is a man that does not make his world a better place"

Finding Your Beat

Recently we hosted a drum circle at Odinstone Labyrinth for the Full Blue Moon of August 2012. The morning of the event a yoga guru who taught me a lot about going with the flow of life passed into a new life of his own. As I was saddened by the loss, it brought up emotions of others that I have lost both physically and emotionally over this past year. As I waited for the full moon to rise her shiny cheeks up over the tree tops I struggled with finding my beat, it seemed like every knock on my drum was completely off of everyone else. Considering my friend and guru had first introduced me to drumming and I knew he would be drumming somewhere on this particular full moon, I asked to do a set in his honour. The emcee let me say a few words about my dear friend and then he asked me to set the beat for the circle...

Oh my, I have no beat, I've been battling this in my head for the last hour... what do I do?

You feel it...

Just as I would have been instructed by the guru himself, I found a few terrible notes and then found that beat. As that beat led me, I let my mind wonder, and it was apparent that this is a metaphor of life. When you're not sure where to go, what to do, or what note to hit... just go with your instincts-the beat will come. You may misstep once in a 'blue moon' but the beat will come granted you let it. You are your own obstacle. You are that rock in the steam that your prana will flow past if you flow with grace.

Love Letters

I recently found a box filled with love letters, love letters between my grandma and grandpa. They were married and within a week he was shipped off to boot camp in VA, then to Germany for the Korean War. The letters are amazing, the love that they shared via handwritten letters is beautiful.

"I sure do miss you darling..." he would write.

As this world of internet and social media overtakes all of our lives (seeing that I am "blogging"-a term surely foreign to my grandparents) I hope that we all take time to send a handwritten letter every now and then. If anything keep a handwritten journal, something that is tangible and can be held by generations that will prosper after we are long gone. I hope that one day someone will read my journal and laugh, snicker, and cry as the spells I cast in ink are brought to life, just as I have with those of my elders past.

Community

What builds community? What makes you feel as though you are a part of something? When was that moment of realization?

A Testimonial:

"I felt secure and safe, a feeling-in that particular time of my life-was exactly what I needed. I thought I was being hard and independent, that I could do anything. At the end of the day I felt the most at ease on my yoga mat, even with the unknown staring me down, I knew that I had support in the earth, my mat neighbors, and my yoga community. The best part... my yoga mat neighbors didn't even know the amount of support they were supplying (a testament that even if you feel tired and don't want to, for some odd reason, go to yoga class-your mat neighbors may need you there) Those "mat neighbors" will always be a part of my kula, they lent support during a very transformational time in my life.

So thank you to all of those unknown mat neighbors for sharing your energy."

Sending love to my kula... Who are your gurus?

www.k10yoga.com

facebook.com/k10yoga

 

Wallpaper

"If these walls could talk..."
Often heard about old buildings and homes and those places that have a story. As I drove through downtown today I couldn't help but think of all the things that this old town has seen for the last few hundreds of years. Reminded me of our selves...


We all have a story. What if we were not afraid to let the walls of our body talk? What would yours say? Do you continue to plaster those walls with wallpaper and paint or are you willing to strip all of that down to reveal who and what you're truly made of in your most organic fashion>
Yoga and meditation can take us into those spaces so we can safely and with the support of our kula or community, get rid of that old wallpaper so we can live Now in the clean and new spaces of our lives.

Soul

Snoop dogg had soul plane, the south has soul food, there is the soul surfer, kia even has a soul crossover now but what really is soul? Is it a rhythm that shows up in music, is it an extraterrestrial being inside of our own bodies, is it just a car with a misleading name and how could any of those things end up in food?

I don't know the answers, but my thoughts indicate that there has to be a connection somewhere. Perhaps that is actually a clue, is soul a connectedness? Music connects people, the sea connects people, food connects people, cars connect people, and that drive inside each of us leads us to connect with people.

Just a thought for today... How are you connected? What connects you? What are you connected to?
A Little Song for you

Fly, Be Free

I want to be free, I want to fly, I want to follow my dreams and live... well I can honestly say that this weekend I was able to fulfill those things within my life. It was a crazy 4 days that I will remember forever. Complete with love, life, and spontaneous happenings.

From December 2011, I found this today. Let it be a reminder to always have your wings handy!

We are connected

Recently took a small hiatus and hopped a plane to Miami to meet up with my lovely friend and her family from the UK. I rented a car, we drove to Key West-stopping off along the way to eat chocolate chip pancakes, feed the tarpon, and kayak through the mangroves anxiously hoping to see the lady alligator but with no avail. Once in Key West I soaked up the culture of pirates, yankees, and cubans before directing the car in the ascending direction of mile markers. Then the massive storm it that threw me for a loop... whats this once beautifully scenic 7 mile bridge that now makes me feel like I am looking down the barrel of a shotgun... All I could see was black black and more black OH and when the lightening struck the water on both sides of the bridge I could see gray... and again yoga breaths come in handy! After way too many hours in the storm we made it back to the hotel and spent the next day relaxing on the beach to let go of the built up anxiety of such a drive.
I to soon had to embark on a return plane home, leaving my lovely new friends to aquaint with old ones back in NC. Time for my most favorite Barta Billfish Tournament 2012. It was a first for me to work the tournament as a non-resident, which meant I had a room at the trusty Inlet Inn (where growing up I sat on the balcony and told ghost stories with my dad of old scraggaly pirates that ran loose in the town) This was a whole new experience... to be just a few blocks away from where everything was happening was amazing. So after the event each night when we had our celebratory drinks I only had to walk a block and a half-genius!
The best part about this years tournament though was standing at the cocktail party standing amongst a group of people I have grown to love and adore more and more each and every year, hearing Tred Barta talk about living each moment to its fullest. To hear someone use those words and know know in your heart that you have been doing that is an amazing feeling. I hope that everyone gets to experience that feeling of elation at least once in their lives.

The entire week between Miami, Key West, and Beaufort held an amazing amount of humility and emotion for me. To connect with people who live far away but realizing they will always be close in my heart, and only a plane ride away is amazing. To know that I have truly lived the last year of my life is amazing. To connect with people I have known for years but to see them in a different light based on the previous years challenges and rewards is Amazing (with a capital a)

To have the eyes to see and the ears to hear when the sea whispers the intentions of life into your soul is a gift I always want to be in tune with. The sea has my heart. We are all connected.

Do

Where to go next, what to do next, what will I do?... Oh no, there it is, that word.
Do.

As I sit back and observe the battle of thoughts in my head where the left brain tries to logically work with my right brains creativity and the mish-mosh that sometimes happens in between (of which the balance to get me through a day is quite magical I must admit) Regardless... I am reminded of a little quote from one of my all time favorite movies, Across the Universe.

Dammit, Max! Get serious, for once! What are you going to DO with your life?

Why is it always what will I do? "What will he do", "What will he do", "Oh, my god what will he do", Do, do, do, do, do. Why isn't the issue who I am?

Because, Maxwell, what you do defines who you are.

No. Who you are defines what you do.


Thank you Max (right brain) for keeping Uncle Teddy (left brain) in line! ha
Anyway, my point being that life is not just something that you pass on through, for me life is something that takes some strategic effort... To let what you do be a representative of who you are... what if everyone that worked at some low end shit job let that represent who they are... okay so in some places this is the case but is that what you want to do with your life?

Express who you are, the rest will fall into place.

"The Buskaholic"

The Buskaholic was a guy I met in the hostle in Auckland, New Zealand... he roams the streets of Auckland playing guitar and singing little diddys, I rounded the corner one day to the familiar Pink Floyd tune of "Wish You Were Here" he was also my roomie in the dorm so one night we wrote a song and it went a little something like this....

Waiting for bedtime
Middle carolina will be just fine
No shoes on the bed
Try not to think about what she said
A swig of honey will make me feel good
like every girl from middle carolina should
A taste of home when i'm far away
dont believe everything this kiwi boy says

Went to Mt Eden didnt see the rock
Bought myself a 1/2 price jacket not a frock
The train will pick me up tomorrow
So i'm waiting for bedtime
Anytimes a good time
Everytimes the right time...

Chorus:
So I'm waiting for bedtime
I took it over for awhile
Anytimes good for a smile
Traveling around for awhile
Traveling around for a smile

Been some places, seen some things
Swig some honey, found some bees
Makes me feel at home when I'm not
like a fat joint of some skunky pot
or a simple rhyme going thru my head
Remembering the words you wrote while laying on my bed
Can you think of some words for me
to explain how I'm feeling
Now its past my bedtime but anytime you want to goto sleep is just fine
Maybe you can help me find a tune
While we wait you can swig some honey too

Chorus...

Don't put your stinky clothes by my bed
Anytimes a goodtime to goto sleep
Luckily I've already brushed my teeth
Living with the moment anytime is good
We built a labyrinth up in our hood
Its north but south or somewhere in between
A swig or a puff makes you feel at home anytime its mean.



Hahaha-Yea some places it makes sense, some places it doesnt, some places you can grab the tune, some places you cant but still fun! Welcome to a night in the hostel of Auckland.

May Day Mayday Mayday

I cannot get stuck, I cannot get stuck, I cannot get stuck... this is my biggest fear. So I went out and traveled around for a bit and loved it, now I'm in that place of 'recharge' and I do not want to let that place of recharge become everyday life. I have to keep traveling I have to keep moving. I have already been in the world of domestication and it doesnt work for me, I want more out of life. This requires a tricky balance between two varieties of 'real life' depending on your prospective.
So this is my mayday call to anyone that reads this, to not let me get in a routinely rut.

Spirits high, recharge, do it again-

Nomad Confession: What day is it again?

Recently I spent quite a bit of time in the airport, like 3 days worth of time. Of course I must be looking like an airport professional now as I just leave my bags by my seat to go brush my teeth and wash my face instead of listening to the rule of "dont leave your baggage unattended" ehh screw that... Once you have been in an airport longer than 8 hours that rule no longer applies to you (in my opinion)

Anyways... so people start to ask questions like you know everything...

"do you know why the plane is delayed?"

"no"

"hey where did you get that smoothie"

"at the smoothie shop over there" (obviously not at the ugg boot store-come on people!)

The one that got me though...

"Whats the date?"

Wooahhh....  I really have no idea, May something? no no.. in all actuality its still April but this brought me lots and lots of joy.  I truly love not knowing what day it is, not knowing what time it is, not having to be bothered by "its time to do this..." kinda stuff. When I'm hungry I get something to eat, when I'm sleepy I take a nap or go to bed, when I want to do what I want to do then I do it. I'm sure this will bite me in the ass when its back to the real world, and I'm okay with finding the discipline again but its quite exhilarating to feel what its like to live free and by your own accord. 

Try it, maybe just for a weekend if you can't just haul off halfway across the world, but truly do what you want when you want to without the expectation that you HAVE to do something. Let go, live a little, and enjoy it! But relish in the fact that you can come back to that discipline whenever you want to ;)

Dive In

Totally stoked to dive the Great Barrier Reef, Normans Reef to be exact about an hour and a half east of Port Douglas, Queensland Australia a few days ago. Its one of those things that I wanted to do since the Disney Channel aired Ocean Girl, where Nari swam with this humpback whale named Charlie. Ever since then I wanted to live in Australia, or at least go there and swim like Ocean Girl did. As I got older and older those memories and dreams diminished and were replaced by thoughts of bills and other bullshit that at the end of the day doesn’t even matter.

After actually diving the reef’s just like Nari did yesterday I feel refreshed that dreams are possible and that sometimes life gets in the way of really living. As I sat on the ocean floor, breathing in the tank O2 I actually had to ward off a panic attack… I know right, here I am living the dream I had as a kid and now I’m going to give that up for a panic attack, what the fuck no…. So I sat there, on the bottom and had a little meditation time with myself. Realizing that this was the first time I had dove without the comforts of someone I love being close by to save me or be close by if I needed saving, my mind went a little haywire. First it was, ohh gosh did I get a good breath, I did check my air but what if… and then it was, oh my-everythings looking a little fuzzy, is my brain shutting down and my eyes deciding not to work right… Ugh what the shit Kristen-Here you are, you have made your dream a reality and this is what you do to yourself, why do you try to self destruct? Not going to happen. So I took a couple breaths (probably sacrificing some good bottom time haha) and I got my shit together. Finally moving forward and making my way through the maze of a reef, checking out all sorts of beautiful colors, fish, movements, and of course other awkward divers-not that I’m not one but I like to think I learned from a pretty good instructor and can at least get my buoyancy and not get turned around and upside down.

So the question here is, why do we tend to let crazy nervous energy rule us? I’m sure  it is different from one person to another but maybe take a breath, move through the fear and take life head on.

These are some of the beautiful things you get to experience...

When it Rains, It Pours-Literally!

After 4 days of flooding rains in Fiji keeping me in the house, no sunshine and not really into a good book yet, I lost it... the crocodile tears began to stream down my face, that overwhelming feeling that I am a failure creeped its way into my head and I had a moment. A moment of breakdown, a moment of what am I doing with my life, everything I had planned has completely gone awry and I just want to go home and snuggle in my bed for a few days. This storm through Fiji was a once in 100 years type thing, I couldn't help but think... is the universe trying to tell me that I am not on the right path? Then a wise voice asked me, what if the universe is simply watching to see what you will do.
Shit.
You're right.
Scratch my head-Shit.
Alright, so as I gathered my thoughts and am preparing to spend all day online figuring things out-ohh power outage-for like 6 hours
This gave me some time that I was not expecting to settle, to think, to once again tell myself that all is well in the world and you can make things work.
Regardless of numbers, I'm going to Bethams in April to teach this retreat like I intended when I came here in the first place, I owe it to myself and to those who have opened their homes to me in order to make this happen. Stop being a pansy and make it happen, thats what you do Kristen, you manifest your destiny, so do it.

As of now,  have the retreat re-planned a new flyer made and ready to distribute, a weekend yoga class scheduled accompanied by a cleanup of the seawall and followed by a tasty lunch, and three intensives planned for three weeks. I'm feeling back on track and ready to go, again manifesting my world into what I want it to be while helping spread the yoga love to others.

When I say it rains, it pours I literally mean that it really did rain here, like a lot....

And when it rains, it pours and amazing things begin to happen, you know that thing called a rainbow at the end of a great flood-Sunshine after the rain yadi yadi yadi-yea, all of that stuff is happening now!
Here Comes the Sun :)

Shark Fin Soup, a Moral Dilemma

It's been raining for days now in Fiji, I made my way down the hill to town to go out to dinner and go to the cinema... night one we had japanese cook at your table food and watched wrath of the titans... totally awesome evening. We thought we would repeat on Sunday (since it was still rainy and gloomy) this time, luck was not on my side, I'll take the story backwards-we watched Mirror Mirror... yes with Julia Roberts, and it happened to involve things that I have a fear of, such as dwarfs (which I should have known would be in it) and wooden puppets... Prior to all of this we went to get some dinner, Chinese right... all was well until
there it was.
on the menu.
right beside what i wanted to get.

shark fin soup.

oh shit, what do I do? I dont want to give my money to a place that sells shark fin soup, but I've already ordered, oh gosh oh gosh oh gosh.... then the tears begin to flood my eye lids. I sit in a state of moral limbo. The lady comes back and they don't have what I wanted, so I cancel my order all together and sit as my friends eat (I had a small bowl of rice that they forfitted)

I was not expecting to be hit with such a flood of emotions, I know its wrong what they do to the sharks, it's sick in fact. I also realize that sharks are not the only animals that this happens to, but for some reason it hits so heavy on my heart for an animal of the sea to be pulled from its home, and plopped on a plate, much less.. pulled from its home, have its fin cut off and then be left for whatever the universe has in store for it. I have seen a picture of a shark without its dorsal fin, it lived-yay! But isnt the dorsal fin the distinguishing mark of a shark...
What if someone cut off your distinguishing mark? People always tell me, oh your eyes they are so big and beautiful, what if all of a sudden in a hungar games style arena my eyes were taken from me... Think about it for just a minute... the waste, the waste of materials and the waste of energies for a bowl of soup... ugh, makes me sick.

Take a stand, don't give your money to places that do things you are not in favor of... Stop Shark Finning...


http://www.stopsharkfinning.net/


  

MapMaker, MapMaker...

I'm stealing this from that song from childhood, Matchmaker matchmaker make me a match... and instead its... Map maker, map maker make me a map.... and I will go to New Zealand and Australia next week yay!!! In fact I am the map maker and I am in fact also the maker of my own destiny. Some days there are things like weather that put a kink in your plan, today for instance when I am supposed to be in Nananu-i-ra preparing to welcome my yogis to my yoga retreat... But when it rains about 7 meters in a day, plans change.

As I battled most of the afternoon with what to do, reschedule the retreat? Get a bus to take everyone up first thing in the morning? Cancel it all together and go home with my tail between my legs? What the hell... no Kristen, you suck it up and trust you made the right decision. Sure some people may not be able to come on the rescheduled day but its better to keep everyone safe then risk it all for a 'plan' or some kind of 'schedule'

Didnt I quit my job and decide to travel the world and teach yoga because I wanted to get away from a 'plan' I wanted to experience what life is like when things are not set into some kind of 'schedule' so whats my problem...!

Get over it Kristen, the universe works in funny ways and this is one of its mysteries, so get our your parchment and quill and make a new map, maybe this one will be flat, maybe it will be in the shape of a raindrop, maybe it will be round, but get creative and let the ink fly... trust in the process and trust in your instincts. The prana, that life energy, the breath, has had much more experience in map making over the last thousands of years than my 29 measly years so let go, have some faith.

You can make the world whatever you want it to be, and I can guarantee there are things for me to learn about in Oz and NZ before I teach the retreat and I'm open to those lessons, from people, from places, and from that feeling of Awe.

Embrace each moment, for it has a story, a map in and of itself, that can show you things so long as you have the eyes to see it. Travel on friend....

But for real, thats a lot of f'ing water and thats just from this morning... send some love and blue skies if you would!

And just for fun... a little tune for you... hehe

Whats in your pack?

So, I was all stoked before I left for Fiji about planning what and how I was going to pack my pack, you always see things online, tips of the trade etc. on how to keep organized. One thing suggested putting clothes in plastic bags to make like a chest of drawers in your pack... ok I tried it, I didnt have anything better to do one day, it was awkward. For the OCD organized person maybe that will work but for anyone who knows me, I am the queen of organized chaos. I like things to be a little disheveled... I know where they are, and its if you dont! After chucking this chest of drawers idea, I gently rolled my clothes and packed them away. My biggest and most bulky item being my yoga mat, but when youre traveling to teach a yoga retreat, you take a yoga mat. There is something calming about carrying your own sacred space around with you on your back, its very... turtlesk :) yes I will make that word up...

Anyways, I've already ditched some items, like the little campy pillow and blanket I was excited to use on the plane until they actually have tiny pillows and blankets on the plane, not to mention its hot as shit in Fiji so who needs a blanket. If it wassnt for mosquitos and 20 person dorms I would sleep naked every night. So I conveniently left those items at the hostel, perhaps the next person coming thru will be traveling to Antarctica, bless them...

I have a love hate relationship with my second bag, its just a smaller backpack, nothing fancy but it holds my computer well and the notebooks I couldnt stand to leave at home full of yoga facts and fun for my retreat. I find that I just drop things in random pockets, again the organized chaos... but at the end of the day that is what its all about, trying to roll clothes to keep lots of space only makes a backpack with a heavy ass, and only keeps things from wrinkling half the time. Its part of what we do, stuff clothes in random pockets, wear things that are wrinkly, forget to shave because... I really just dont know where my razor is! If I wanted to be all prim and proper and wear super cute and fancy clothes all the time I would have stayed home, but no... I chose to travel, I chose to live out of a bag for 3 months, I chose to take my awkward yoga notebooks and sacred yoga space with me because thats who I am, and I am okay with that!

So what does that all mean? Be yourself.

If you like to pack boxes and travel with cutsy dresses across the world, do it.

If you like to make cabinets in your bags, do it.

If you like to take something on a vacation even though everyone else thinks your crazy, do it.

Just be you, be happy with your decisions, and know that you can always ditch the tiny pillow and blanket :) Have fun, be awkward, laugh at how much shit you dont need and rock on!!

Happy travels ya'll

Chase The Sun

Wake up, get on a plane and chase the sun across the sky...

I had changed my seat on the plane and was for some reason sat beside a girl who was on her way to lax for rehab, coming off of opium... interesting sight, she popped about 5 pills, drank a vodka drink and coffee and orange juice within about 4 hours, she was in rough shape, but I found some compassion for her, she was on her way to a new life.

In LA I freaked out, what the hell am I doing... I contemplated not getting on the plane at all and just going back to charlotte, especially when I thought I was going to puke at the gate... but I had a pep talk from a couple different people and got on the plane. A bajillion hours later and about 12 interrupted naps here I am! Elian who was supposed to pick me up from the airport is a trip, his car broke down so I took a cab, he took me back later to exchange money and we picked up 2 other travelers, kinda fun to act like I knew what I was doing holding signs for people to come on over!

Sat on the beach, watched a cloud turn from a wolf to a fish before completely dissapearing into the blue blue sky. Ready to move, this place is great and so are the people but I'm ready for Suva. Two nights here, and then down thru the coral coast for a night or two and then to Suva. Find my yoga ladies and settle in.

Weighing heavy on my heart.... Carolyn, my dear momma hen passed away the night before my flight left the states. Im sad I missed the funeral arrangements, but selfishly I am happy I talked to her before she couldnt remember anyone and that she passed before I left the states. With tears in my eyes I know shes in an awesome place and I know shes proud of me. I have nothing to prove, just out to do what I want to do and that is explore this vast world and take some yoga with me!

xoxo

k10

Seeds of Peace

Odinstone Labyrinth Seeds of Peace

Copper’s

unique properties of transferring energy is a valuable and intrinsic natural
resource. From the Dawn of civilization, these unique properties were used for coin, currency, art and
architecture. Handcrafted by hammer, anvil and heat, copper’s intrinsic value is now transformed to manifest the
invisible forces of Intuitive Reasoning and Quantum Intention. Once formed into an Archimedean crystal
shape, each copper “Seed” is fully charged in a 9-circuit labyrinth. A Labyrinth uniquely built of stone and
torqued by water as a tool for developing individual Intuitive Reasoning and Quantum Intention. This long-lost sixth
sense is a necessary skill for understanding today’s World. Each “Seed” is then set adrift via charitable donation to homes around the planet. Location of the individually numbered “Seeds” are displayed graphically on a maps page to visualize the growth of Peace and Goodwill. Please join the force as it embraces planet Earth, raising vibration and conscious awareness.

OdinStone Labyrinth is planting peace in the minds or man.

Gratitude

Soooo I want to take a time out in life and express a little bit of gratitude! I have the most amazing people in my life, who challenge me and push me and inspire me and love me and laugh with me and think I'm a little bit crazy and I love them alllll!!

I depart the area I have called home for the past 6 years this Friday and as it is still a bit surreal I'm totally excited yet flooded with a variety of emotions... like for instance... holy shit what am I doing with my life?!!??!! But the answer is simple, I am living life fully. So many people get in their own ways and wont move in this same direction, and that is fine because that is what works for them. In fact that is what worked for me the past few years, but that leash has been broken and I'm putting myself out there... hello world, here I am, lets play!

I was going to make a montage of pictures that remind me of this place that I'm on the genesis of the exodus from but I have decided that it will just stir up emotions that I'm in a good place with right now. From the depths of my heart I love all the wise people who have let me sit on their couches and laugh and cry and drink beer and eat cheez-its, who have spent entire days not really doing anything, watching sunsets, playing around with yoga poses, eating healthy food followed by twisted dipped ice cream cones.

I have laughed, I have cried, I have loved, I have lost and now its time for me to shine!

With great gratitude, I love you all

WE ALL SHINE ON, WITH THE MOON AND THE STARS AND THE SUN...

Dreams are a wish your heart makes

Why do we resist following our dreams? Is it really that easy to be in a shit job where you are unhappy, is it so easy that we will sacrifice ourselves to that world. What keeps us daydreaming out of the office window, thinking of how nice it would be to sit on a beach with a cool drink in hand or out exploring the vast universe but instead you notice the shiny shoes and dress clothes that youreally dont like to wear but because they look 'cute' according to cosmo we wear them and spend way to much money on them... what is the deal, why do we harm ourselves?

Typically this pain come from some type of fear-but of what?
Is it a fear of not having money? Is it a fear that your friends are going to think you are crazy? (because you are doing what they dont have the balls to even think about doing) Or is it pure laziness? The idea that we are happy in what we have convinced ourselves is a normal life is that the real truth for you when you peel back the layers of who YOU are... is where you are sitting right now the life you had always planned for yourself?

Remember those days as a kid when you were a big dreamer... I want to be an astronaut, I want to be a whatever... well are you? For me, I wanted to be a mermaid, now that is a little bit mythical but I do get to play in the pool often and live at the beach, but now it is time for more!

From the Yamas and Niyamas we are taught about Ahimsa and Satya. I encourage you to look deep, find your inner truth-Satya, and be mindful of what that is and practice Ahimsa, but practice non-violence to yourself-be who you want to be, try not to push yourself into a world that doesnt feel organic to your path.

Find Your Truth and Live It.

www.k10yoga.com

Full Moon, Love...

With every full moon a new set of emotions roll in, of course, its the full moon and living on the sea amplifies its effects. I used to look at my life year by year "where will I be this time next year" it dawned on me recently that I didn't do that this past Christmas (my usual reflection/projection marker) instead I see it now from full moon to full moon... 2 moons ago old friends were coming back into my life that brought an odd feeling of stability, then best friends and lovers returned last full moon and now on the almost completely waxed moon I find myself looking around again...

Mostly I am reflective of this time last moon (December:The full long nights moon)-it was my moon of independance, I was up late the entirety of this moons last moment of wax and first moment of wane, in wonder of where my life has gone and in excitement of where I was going, literally and figuratively. These thoughts flowing through as on an airplane to multiple cities within 4 days to see those who came into my life unexpectedly and I fell in love with.

As the January moon, or Full Wolf Moon, begins to reach its peak I feel as hungry as the wolves during this time, searching and looking for food, but food for my soul. As I now hold a plane ticket that will take me to a far off land in less than 2 months I feel excited for the adventure and hungry for more at the same time.

When I put the two moons together and culminate what feels right in my soul I realize that I am hungry for those late nights with the ones I lovee. I miss them to tears as I sit and collaborate thoughts and hope they understand the same level of love and miss that I feel. Why is it so difficult to express ourselves, why do we hold onto love that currently creates pain, why do we fear rejection but yet wont put ourselves out there and give ourselves the option to not be rejected?

As winter sets in with her full moons, and the literal darkness of the season sets in, I look forward to March when the cycle breaks, heralding the robins to return thus the quest for love and the quest to fill that hunger. They key is to settle into the Full Moon of January and February with an open heart, feel the emotions that pour in, but not to let them freeze. Keep the fluid in motion and grow out from the stillness. Knowing that on the other side, the world is warm and life will begin to bloom.

Namaste loves

Another Year "Older" and a new one just begun

So yeah, Christmas is over, New Years is over and in an hour my birthday will officially be over. I cannot express how incredibly thankful I am for all that I have been through this past year, 28 was awesome but I'm ready to let it go and fully live in 29.
For the last year I have been holding on for dear life as I tried to let go and figure my life out... After two people who I love tremendously moved off to follow their dreams and I sat back and watched them go, loving them, but feeling ever so green with envy that they get to follow their dreams while I'm still being patient and waiting for mine.

I have been blessed with a great group of friends who I love tremendously and will be sad to say goodbye to as I carry on with my year of 29 to great places across the world, and I can confidently say that I am ready to go, ready to travel, ready to yoga, and ready to save the world!!

I have worked my ass off, finishing a 200 hour yoga teacher training, having a great boyfriend, great friends and then letting them go to pursue their dreams and for me to pursue 300 more hours of yoga study... damn its been a ride!
After buying my plane ticket to Fiji for 3 months on New Years Day, I started a new year literally and figuratively. I am launching myself out into the world to follow MY dreams. I wouldn't be here without the unknown help of a few people who have given me the courage to step out of my comfort zone, and know that they will be on the other side of it.

My life has felt like I've had a bucket full of water on my shoulders and I just poked a hole in it that washed fear and anxiety away. Water is a powerful mover of energy and can be refreshing and flow moving but when held captive can become stagnant and boring. I just let all of mine go and it does taste of great refreshment!
Amazing how when you let go, you take a step into an unknown world and you know you are on the right track, the universe provides what you need. I had always heard that but never trusted it, I'm capricorn, I plan. But with that step into the blue stagnant waters, there is a ripple and within that ripple the universe can release its power and support you at the same time.

Let your inhibitions go, run, play, jump up and down, scream, cry whatever it takes.... poke the hole in that bucket of water sitting on your shoulders and trust that the water that comes out will fill your heart and wash away your worries.

What will 29 hold? Yoga and service in Fiji-yoga with kids in schools, debris cleanup in the ocean and hopefully raising money to certify someone to dive and continue with the ocean cleanups. Hopes to teach people yoga, maybe even teach them to be teachers.
Belize, June 2012, we will discover the blocks in that bucket of water, let them go and learn how to keep the channels clean and the prana running smoothly through ourselves. Then transmitting that energy into those in our life or that we may just encounter walking down the street. What seeds do you plant for yourself and thus into others?

The year of 29 will be a year of extended growth, finding my soul families across the earth, creating a great place for each of us to live.

I am beyond grateful and cannot wait to see this year unfold.

A little song, you may have heard it before, that always keeps me asking questions.

Campaign for Yoga and Seva (service) in Fiji

Cheers to Another Year Older!!

Kristen

www.k10yoga.com

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