What is it?

It's born wild and free, but little does it know the dangers in the world.  A humble adventurer comes along whisping it away into a life that to others may seem trapped, but from an insiders eye, encourages the upper % of survival. It is given education, nourishment, discipline, and love all while remembering its instincts. Things it will need to continue to survive. There are times for work and times for play, days of laughter and days trudging along on your belly to get the blasted thing back where it belongs... All sacrifices and times of great joy and triumph for the humble adventurer.

Then comes the day when it must be released, into the wild, putting itself to the test... It is gone, for days, the humble adventurer curious of its wellbeing as they have grown to have a respected bond with one another... Then, it returns, it's crop filled with joy and gratitude for the skills it instinctively knew but that have been taught to it with great intention. 

It flies away, knowing the humbled adventurer and his mate have given their all for its survival, and it has now returned to shine its gratitude upon them, and it flies back into its born environment. The new yet familiar environment, the wild, to explore and to see the places previously dreamt about from a rocking stoop.

The humbled adventurer hangs up his hat on this project, but does he really? The love of the adventure will always be with him and never will he truly be finished. It hopes he will continue his own adventuring for the sake of the world and for the sake of it who loves him and his mate ever so dearly... Loves them for choosing it as an adventure.

What is "it"?

For it is the families dear red tailed hawk of course.

When it Rains, It Pours-Literally!

After 4 days of flooding rains in Fiji keeping me in the house, no sunshine and not really into a good book yet, I lost it... the crocodile tears began to stream down my face, that overwhelming feeling that I am a failure creeped its way into my head and I had a moment. A moment of breakdown, a moment of what am I doing with my life, everything I had planned has completely gone awry and I just want to go home and snuggle in my bed for a few days. This storm through Fiji was a once in 100 years type thing, I couldn't help but think... is the universe trying to tell me that I am not on the right path? Then a wise voice asked me, what if the universe is simply watching to see what you will do.
Shit.
You're right.
Scratch my head-Shit.
Alright, so as I gathered my thoughts and am preparing to spend all day online figuring things out-ohh power outage-for like 6 hours
This gave me some time that I was not expecting to settle, to think, to once again tell myself that all is well in the world and you can make things work.
Regardless of numbers, I'm going to Bethams in April to teach this retreat like I intended when I came here in the first place, I owe it to myself and to those who have opened their homes to me in order to make this happen. Stop being a pansy and make it happen, thats what you do Kristen, you manifest your destiny, so do it.

As of now,  have the retreat re-planned a new flyer made and ready to distribute, a weekend yoga class scheduled accompanied by a cleanup of the seawall and followed by a tasty lunch, and three intensives planned for three weeks. I'm feeling back on track and ready to go, again manifesting my world into what I want it to be while helping spread the yoga love to others.

When I say it rains, it pours I literally mean that it really did rain here, like a lot....

And when it rains, it pours and amazing things begin to happen, you know that thing called a rainbow at the end of a great flood-Sunshine after the rain yadi yadi yadi-yea, all of that stuff is happening now!
Here Comes the Sun :)

Dreams are a wish your heart makes

Why do we resist following our dreams? Is it really that easy to be in a shit job where you are unhappy, is it so easy that we will sacrifice ourselves to that world. What keeps us daydreaming out of the office window, thinking of how nice it would be to sit on a beach with a cool drink in hand or out exploring the vast universe but instead you notice the shiny shoes and dress clothes that youreally dont like to wear but because they look 'cute' according to cosmo we wear them and spend way to much money on them... what is the deal, why do we harm ourselves?

Typically this pain come from some type of fear-but of what?
Is it a fear of not having money? Is it a fear that your friends are going to think you are crazy? (because you are doing what they dont have the balls to even think about doing) Or is it pure laziness? The idea that we are happy in what we have convinced ourselves is a normal life is that the real truth for you when you peel back the layers of who YOU are... is where you are sitting right now the life you had always planned for yourself?

Remember those days as a kid when you were a big dreamer... I want to be an astronaut, I want to be a whatever... well are you? For me, I wanted to be a mermaid, now that is a little bit mythical but I do get to play in the pool often and live at the beach, but now it is time for more!

From the Yamas and Niyamas we are taught about Ahimsa and Satya. I encourage you to look deep, find your inner truth-Satya, and be mindful of what that is and practice Ahimsa, but practice non-violence to yourself-be who you want to be, try not to push yourself into a world that doesnt feel organic to your path.

Find Your Truth and Live It.

www.k10yoga.com

Full Moon, Love...

With every full moon a new set of emotions roll in, of course, its the full moon and living on the sea amplifies its effects. I used to look at my life year by year "where will I be this time next year" it dawned on me recently that I didn't do that this past Christmas (my usual reflection/projection marker) instead I see it now from full moon to full moon... 2 moons ago old friends were coming back into my life that brought an odd feeling of stability, then best friends and lovers returned last full moon and now on the almost completely waxed moon I find myself looking around again...

Mostly I am reflective of this time last moon (December:The full long nights moon)-it was my moon of independance, I was up late the entirety of this moons last moment of wax and first moment of wane, in wonder of where my life has gone and in excitement of where I was going, literally and figuratively. These thoughts flowing through as on an airplane to multiple cities within 4 days to see those who came into my life unexpectedly and I fell in love with.

As the January moon, or Full Wolf Moon, begins to reach its peak I feel as hungry as the wolves during this time, searching and looking for food, but food for my soul. As I now hold a plane ticket that will take me to a far off land in less than 2 months I feel excited for the adventure and hungry for more at the same time.

When I put the two moons together and culminate what feels right in my soul I realize that I am hungry for those late nights with the ones I lovee. I miss them to tears as I sit and collaborate thoughts and hope they understand the same level of love and miss that I feel. Why is it so difficult to express ourselves, why do we hold onto love that currently creates pain, why do we fear rejection but yet wont put ourselves out there and give ourselves the option to not be rejected?

As winter sets in with her full moons, and the literal darkness of the season sets in, I look forward to March when the cycle breaks, heralding the robins to return thus the quest for love and the quest to fill that hunger. They key is to settle into the Full Moon of January and February with an open heart, feel the emotions that pour in, but not to let them freeze. Keep the fluid in motion and grow out from the stillness. Knowing that on the other side, the world is warm and life will begin to bloom.

Namaste loves

Be your own painter

I dream of painting, then I paint my dream... I think thats how the quote goes... regardless I have had this idea of being an artist on the mind lately. We are all artists in our own sense. Perhaps we don't create huge canvas paintings that could be sold for millions, or perhaps we do... but I want to look at it from a different prospective.

When it comes to love and life and what to do what not to do and when to start and when to stop etc, inevitably we are the ones in control of that. Others can tell us their opinion about what to do, when to go when not to go and yadi yadi yadi but at the end of the day YOU are responsible for YOUR own Happiness. Some may think you are crazy for choosing the timeline that you do, but its up to you. Just like the painter, people may look at the art and say it is perfect. People may look at it and say ohh, that needs some work. Why do we try to tell others what to do? When the painter is happy with the painting when in his or her own expression is complete, then the job is done and the project can be put out into the world for it to become whatever it will become.

Think about life, how long do you hold onto a situation? It's okay if you say 50 years, or 45 minutes because it is up to your own creative expression what you will do with it.

Be the painter. Life is your canvas. Be responsible for yourself. Create the life you wish to live.

Be a Strawberry

Stand back. Watch the world go around. It's an interesting place, this world. There are a few ways to walk through this world, one with eyes open and one with eyes closed. I do believe it came from the infamous Beatles, Strawberry Fields Forever singing "Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstand all you see..."
What happens when you open your eyes, understanding all you see. That seems easy in theory but it is quite tough and can be quite painful, this transformation. From here we grow, coming out of the muck and blossoming into that lotus flower we hear about.

We have choices, we can choose to stay in the muck or we can allow ourselves to blossom. We are in the places we are because we chose to be here. So, if you aren't feeling happy or secure or grounded... maybe its time you look in the mirror and decide if you choose to stay in that place or not. Depending on how many dependants you have determines how deep your roots are in the muck. (dependants here being kids, debt, j-o-b, mortgage, commitments, etc...) I can't tell you how to get out, how to blossom, but being aware of it and having those eyes to see tends to help. What about commitments, some people are dealthy afraid of them, some deathly afraid of not having any, how do you find a happy median? Where do you stand, be honest with yourself.

What about those who are not rooted in the muck, can they be beutiful lotus flowers? My analytical mind is curious what the ratio of muck has to be in order to be that beautiful flower... can you be too flowery and not rooty enough? Who knows really.

The bottom line is this... Can you go through life with eyes closed? yes you can. Does it get you anywhere on the path to enlightenment and top chakra kinda stuff... I dont know. But for me, I accept the responsibility to live with eyes open trying to understand our world from a place of compassion in hopes that one day I can be that fully blooming and enlightened lotus flower. Shit gets tough, yes, and some days I just want to crawl in bed and cry until I cannot cry anymore and thats just human. At the end of the day though, be strong, stand firm, argue if you have to, commit when it feels right, play loud music, yell, scream, jump up and down, offer a helping hand, be passionate, follow your heart but think with your brain. Then... get up and do it again.
Open your eyes, face the world, understand yourself, and move from a place of compassion and grace and from there blossom.
Imagine an entire world that did this, translate that lotus into the strawberry and we would have... strawberry fields forever.

Ugh..... Ahh!

I truly do like all of the things and places etc that I "like" on facebook, and being a yoga nerd the majority of those likes are inspirational things and people and all that good stuff. But from an honest point of view, some days I just want to say, okay thank you inspirational quote for being inspirational when I'm in the mood for inspiration. Thank you person with a positive outlook on life for being annoyingly positive on life today but I'm just not feeling it.

I don't want to admit it, but today is one of those days... I'm on edge, I'm annoyed, I am battling feelings of abandonment, and a whole slew of other emotions and the last thing I want to see is some quote about, keep your head up blah blah blah...

Then I refer back to the Sutras and remember that I know I have left people feeling in a state of abandonment for my own selfish reasons. I have been annoying, when others have been on edge and it all comes full circle. Of course the impatient part of me says okay universe I get it, can we carry on now. But the truth of the matter is that I have to BE in that emotion to appreciate it and to move from it. As much as I want to call someone and tell them that they make me feel abandoned for x number of reasons, or tell someone at work or in my life that they are annoying me, what good will it do? Obviously this is easier to type then to actually do but I feel like I should get some brownie points for being aware of it.
In the Yoga Sutras it talks about something being itself in itself. What are you talking about? Okay... an example, if I perceive you as being annoying right now, someone else in your life could perceive them as being sooo sweet.

Who am I to make judgement on them? Woah...

So now I feel bad for saying someone was annoying me and making me feel abandoned...wait for it... that sentance is all about me. Get the clue Kristen. So what do I do? I think a simple conversation with open hearts and open ears may be best. But first it has to be within myself. Others actions are causing me to be annoyed and emotional, I can let them know that their actions towards me are creating that feeling but inevitably it has to do with me. Who knows, maybe once I face the conversation within my own mind as opposed to pushing that on someone else then MY perception of the actions will change and then theres no need for the conversation (other than to educate that person on the breakthrough you just had, in hopes they can use it in the future too)

Take a breath... in with love, out with fear and judgment... Let. It. Go.

A Garden of New Snazzy Seeds

Since I have been putting together this yoga program from the Sutras, I have been very very mindful of what seeds I plant in myself, and others, not just right here right now but in the past that have brought me here. In my last post I talked about "where did everyone go?" and after some contemplation (well thats what I call it when I know the answer but sit and hope it will change) I realize that I have put some people in a position to feel the same way I did. Looking at it that way, I can actually see the exact emotions but from a completely different scenario playing out in my life right now. The good news is that I think it's almost over, but the even better news is that by having the time to reflect on this situation allows me to plant good seeds within myself. By forgiving myself for putting others in this position creates even more good seeds, and by holding that emotion for what it is, looking at it in my hands from an all seeing eyes prospective I can appropriately place that situation outside of my world and carry on with the new good seeds that I have now.

Short and simple right

Where did everyone go?

Wow... it's here Labor Day Weekend. This weekend represents a lot of different things, school starts and work slows down so I can take a breath which is a yay! But also the man leaves to embark on his dreams that I so wonderfully encouraged him to do. Best friend and roomie is off adventuring in Ecuador. Best companion dog Spirit has to stay at my folks because the land lady changed her mind. Family 5 hours away. So here I am, sitting at night wondering whoah, where did everyone go?

The truth of the matter is that I almost feel better since they have gone, the emotion that is contained in the anticipation of pre-departure life is intense, I have never been so emotional and so in love in completely different ways with different people (and animals) as I have been this summer. Best part of this anticipation is knowing that it all peaks and happens within one week (not to mention hurricane Irene plotting a head on collision with the island my new place sits on)

I know that all of these people sit so very close to my heart and that I can send little messages from my heart chakra that they feel consciously or unconsciously. I'm so ready to embark on my own adventures the best thing I can do to embody the patience is to plan the trips, be ready when the time comes. Create the destiny that I want, and go for it. I keep thinking how ready I am to go go go but I have to remind myself how much closer I have gotten to those goals then where I was this time last year and that brings everything into prospective.

So very thankful for everyone in my life and in my heart, you haven't a clue how much you inspire and support me.

With great Love... k10