Inner work

After my last post where I needed to vent and re-route my feelings, I was able to calmly and with non-violent communication, have a conversation and find out quite a few things that really cleared the air. It's amazing how easily things can get misinterpreted etc... 5 points for communicating!

I've been co-collaborating Yoga in Action and it is quite amazing to see the transformation in students, and in myself. I went through the program in NY and it was great, and teaching it now is completely different yet still inspiring. Students don't often realize that they are in fact too teachers.

From Sleeping Beauty we hear mirror mirror on the wall... take a look what do you see. My life is chaotic, I can't decide what I'm going to do, what my next step is going to be. I decided today, after meditations, looking deep and seeing that inner critic show his grimy face and turning him around etc... that I'm going to do what I really want to do and I need to let go of my own inhibitions and just dance and play and make it happen. Why do I second guess myself so often? What am I so afraid of? Go for it k10, jump in and meet your souls desires.

Sooo on that note, you guys better all meet me in Belize for an amazing yoga and diving retreat! It's a big step for me to reach out and start something that I can call my own, but at the end of the day its not about me, its about making changes in the world, and that is my intention with this program. Whether someone takes it and runs with it, or they simple view things in a new way and share it with a friend, the seeds will be planted!

Excited :)

Ugh..... Ahh!

I truly do like all of the things and places etc that I "like" on facebook, and being a yoga nerd the majority of those likes are inspirational things and people and all that good stuff. But from an honest point of view, some days I just want to say, okay thank you inspirational quote for being inspirational when I'm in the mood for inspiration. Thank you person with a positive outlook on life for being annoyingly positive on life today but I'm just not feeling it.

I don't want to admit it, but today is one of those days... I'm on edge, I'm annoyed, I am battling feelings of abandonment, and a whole slew of other emotions and the last thing I want to see is some quote about, keep your head up blah blah blah...

Then I refer back to the Sutras and remember that I know I have left people feeling in a state of abandonment for my own selfish reasons. I have been annoying, when others have been on edge and it all comes full circle. Of course the impatient part of me says okay universe I get it, can we carry on now. But the truth of the matter is that I have to BE in that emotion to appreciate it and to move from it. As much as I want to call someone and tell them that they make me feel abandoned for x number of reasons, or tell someone at work or in my life that they are annoying me, what good will it do? Obviously this is easier to type then to actually do but I feel like I should get some brownie points for being aware of it.
In the Yoga Sutras it talks about something being itself in itself. What are you talking about? Okay... an example, if I perceive you as being annoying right now, someone else in your life could perceive them as being sooo sweet.

Who am I to make judgement on them? Woah...

So now I feel bad for saying someone was annoying me and making me feel abandoned...wait for it... that sentance is all about me. Get the clue Kristen. So what do I do? I think a simple conversation with open hearts and open ears may be best. But first it has to be within myself. Others actions are causing me to be annoyed and emotional, I can let them know that their actions towards me are creating that feeling but inevitably it has to do with me. Who knows, maybe once I face the conversation within my own mind as opposed to pushing that on someone else then MY perception of the actions will change and then theres no need for the conversation (other than to educate that person on the breakthrough you just had, in hopes they can use it in the future too)

Take a breath... in with love, out with fear and judgment... Let. It. Go.

Woah Opportunity

After teaching water aerobics and talking to one of my students about what in the world I'm going to do with my life because nothing seems to be dropping into my lap... ohh whoops, I said it, I challenged the universe and within 4 hours I had a friend send me a link to a yoga instructor job that didn't even fit in with the forum she was searching. Sent my resume and within 12 hours basically have an offer on the table for me to name my salary and they will pay for all accommodations, food, paid vacation time, insurance etc if I commit to 2 years in an exotic and remote location in the middle of the Arabian Sea, 2 hours from the closest town and thats taking a speedboat and a puddle jumper plane.
Woah universe, I wassn't expecting you to throw that one in my direction. Sounds fantastic, now the logistics. My instincts tell me that if they will narrow down to a year then I'll probably do it. What an amazing opportunity, not to mention the place is absolutely beautiful, one of those places you see on postcards and wonder if it really exists in real life. To have someone say that your credentials are very impressive is weird when its coming from a complete stranger half way across the world, good to know that all my hard work over the past 10 years is paying off.

Wondering what the future holds...

A Garden of New Snazzy Seeds

Since I have been putting together this yoga program from the Sutras, I have been very very mindful of what seeds I plant in myself, and others, not just right here right now but in the past that have brought me here. In my last post I talked about "where did everyone go?" and after some contemplation (well thats what I call it when I know the answer but sit and hope it will change) I realize that I have put some people in a position to feel the same way I did. Looking at it that way, I can actually see the exact emotions but from a completely different scenario playing out in my life right now. The good news is that I think it's almost over, but the even better news is that by having the time to reflect on this situation allows me to plant good seeds within myself. By forgiving myself for putting others in this position creates even more good seeds, and by holding that emotion for what it is, looking at it in my hands from an all seeing eyes prospective I can appropriately place that situation outside of my world and carry on with the new good seeds that I have now.

Short and simple right

Where did everyone go?

Wow... it's here Labor Day Weekend. This weekend represents a lot of different things, school starts and work slows down so I can take a breath which is a yay! But also the man leaves to embark on his dreams that I so wonderfully encouraged him to do. Best friend and roomie is off adventuring in Ecuador. Best companion dog Spirit has to stay at my folks because the land lady changed her mind. Family 5 hours away. So here I am, sitting at night wondering whoah, where did everyone go?

The truth of the matter is that I almost feel better since they have gone, the emotion that is contained in the anticipation of pre-departure life is intense, I have never been so emotional and so in love in completely different ways with different people (and animals) as I have been this summer. Best part of this anticipation is knowing that it all peaks and happens within one week (not to mention hurricane Irene plotting a head on collision with the island my new place sits on)

I know that all of these people sit so very close to my heart and that I can send little messages from my heart chakra that they feel consciously or unconsciously. I'm so ready to embark on my own adventures the best thing I can do to embody the patience is to plan the trips, be ready when the time comes. Create the destiny that I want, and go for it. I keep thinking how ready I am to go go go but I have to remind myself how much closer I have gotten to those goals then where I was this time last year and that brings everything into prospective.

So very thankful for everyone in my life and in my heart, you haven't a clue how much you inspire and support me.

With great Love... k10

Circles of Change

Circles, or circuits are represented in the labyrinth. You could look upon them as just a path to keep you in a mindful meditation or you could look at them as metaphors of your life-each stick, bump, or lack of either on the path representing a time in your life when things were rough, or smooth.
Change, it is everywhere, day by day the earth is changing. Re-newing itself from fresh rains to falling leaves, hurricanes, earthquakes, you name it, it's happening. With this renewal of the planet is also coming the renewal of the consciousness. Can you feel it?

Combine the two, circles/change, circles of change, be the changes that you see in your life. Create your own destiny, follow your dreams, dance these intentions into realities.

Are you planting seeds of change or restriction in your life? In the lives of others? Where are your thoughts? Be mindful, set positive intentions for yourself, create small circles of change in our communities... imagine if you made a small circle of change in your group, and one of them made small circles of change in their work group, who took it to their families, and to their friends... the circles concentrically get bigger and bigger just as in a labyrinth. Each day is a walk of mindfulness.

Until next time, plant good seeds!