Authentic

What does it mean to be authentic? Being true to your inner self? What happens when you get off of your authentic train and meet people who you deem to be authentic but at the end of the day you realize they have tossed you off of your own authentic train? It's not for me to decide whether they are authentic to themselves or not, I can only be responsible for me and the authentic train that I am on. I find it interesting to sit back and observe though... people who drive their parents car and spend their parents money and spend all night at the bar drinking wine and indulging in life...junior league, clothes that cost more than they are worth and will only be worn once or twice, no perception of what really goes on with all of humanity. Are they really happy? Maybe it is authentic for some people to simply not have a perception of humanity? 

#eyestosee #earstohear 

Will Power?

Saw a commercial this morning where a little girl walks up to this ladies door and is offering doughnuts for sale. The lady slams the door in the girls face and says, "you're cute". The logo for Kellogs pops up and the word Willpower and a little tidbit about their new protein bar.

In tradition of Chakras we talk about the 3rd energetic space, that of will power. Manipura, the city of jewels, that place where we as individuals find our own space of following our will. Can this space have a duality of "no you cannot have a doughnut" but also that of "do what you will" all found in the belly-ironically enough- this conflict between the yin and the yang, the black and the white in this chakra, in my opinion finds a beautiful shade of gray. 

 

What is our society telling us, and is anyone else out there seeing it? 

It's okay go against what you may want, and lets call it willpower...

What happened to all things in moderation? Be mindful of your choices, knowing that those choices have a direction but regardless follow your will-follow your gut and there you will find strength.

Doodle Notes

Ever take a piece of paper, or like me, take 3 pieces of paper, and just start to doodle. See what words come out, what phrases are sitting on your heart... just let go, move the pen however it wants to move. Make l's that look like t's and vice versa, there are no rules... but you may be surprised what shows up on your piece(s) of paper!

Settled... woah! That one hassnt popped up in a while, but there it is, staring me in the face. Settled. 

i'm feeling a bit...

          settled...

               and i kinda like it...

I'm sorry what?! Needless to say this took me by surprise. As I began to let my pen do the talking, quite a few things came up.

I need structure. Direction. What is it? Why do I feel like I need it? Can I let someone else guide me and still honor myself?-Yes I can. Can I accept help? Am I so stubborn like the sea goat that I am to push it away? I am a stubborn sea goat but I can humble my horns and accept love and compliment. 

I give myself permission to find some structure, to find settlement, to bow my stubborn horns and love this moment. No expectations, just this place where I am right now. Not where I was two months ago, Not where I was 6 months ago, Not where I was a year ago... the Right Here. the Right Now.

Let the pen do the talking, the heart has things to say... 

Finding some beauty in the colors of fall... for where one leaf falls, another, maybe even two, will grow strong and beautiful and That is something to smile about!

Behind the Leaves

Being aware is somethings we often talk about in yoga class. Being aware of your breath, your body and other places you need to check in. While this is great and a vital part of knowing your self, I think there is more to it. Sometimes you have to step back and be aware of life. Situations that arise, some of which simply slide on by, but then those situations that keep tending to come up... those are the big ones, the ones that show up over and over and over again.
I recognized one of those situations today, every fall it tends to come up, and every fall I wonder what I can do about it and think that there is not a lot I can do but apparently there is. I don't know what it is yet but finding out is part of the process.

As the leaves change and fall, take a moment to notice what they reveal, not only about yourself but about those who you love. Once the leaves fall, the sun will shine through the branches and encourage the roots, your roots, to grow strong.

Surprise

As you may know, I recently recovered a box filled with love letters between my grandparents when he was in bootcamp and then in Germany during the Korean War. I have laughed and cried as I read through each of them. Their love is amazing. There was this one piece of paper, I unfolded and began to read which made me laugh and warmed my heart! Enjoy...

"Surprise"

The boss of a medium sized office had hired a 'steno who was out of this world. She has looks, personality and clothes. After looking at her for a few weeks, the boss, a married man, decided that he was going to take her out some night. He approached her and asked if she would like to celebrate his birthday with him at some secluded night spot: she said that she would have to think about it. The next day she consented to go out but offered that they go to her apartment instead of out somewhere. To himself-as any other normal man would, he commented; better than I had planned. Then the night of his birthday, they went to her apartment and had coctails., appetizers dinner, ad some drinks afterwards. A short while after she said : "I'm going to my bed room now and you can come in in five minutes." After four minutes had gone by, the boss started to disrobe. Totally naked by this time, the five minutes were up. He knocked on the bed room door. The voice from behind the door in a sweet tone said come in. A twist of the door knob, the door was open - only to find the rest of the office singing: Happy Birthday to You.



And this pictures just makes me laugh! Love a stingray :)

Ohh Fall

Fall is upon us and for my Kapha self it is not my most favorite time of year. Yes I like the colors that change, and the cozy clothes that cooler weather calls into my closet but.... emotionally its a different story.
In my world fall signifies a time of change, where I embrace change it is a very scary time in its own rights. Fall signifies the collapse of my energy levels, an emotionally unstable time, and a quest to fill my schedule to the brim-keeping buys so the time flies and before I know it there is a warmth on my skin again.

Ayurvedically I am so very kapha, which typically would show up as big and slow. Where on the outside I may not look that way, I do find comfort in those spaces. Moving into this kapha time of year is scary. How do I keep myself going with out an overly stacked schedule?

Cue Capricorn Characteristics...

I begin to plan.
Look for great things to come for this spring and summer. I can say that a retreat is in the works, and scouting places abroad is also on the docket... Now those are things that make my soul smile, that warm me inside and move me. They activate the pitta and vatta characteristics that need to take over this time of year!

As the days progress and get colder and colder I will keep my soul warm with the love of great friends and family, plus a hot chocolate with chai.

Day 3

Feeling better and better, to say that it feels like stinging nettles is what comes instinctually, however Im not really sure what a stinging nettle really is and I may have made it up from Harry Potter? Regardless, things are on the mends which makes me smile! Taking this as a sign for the future that when I feel my skin tingle that my immune system is low and I best get my rest on. I hope I dont have to blog about a day 4, lets lay this pup to rest-goodnight shingles