Do

Where to go next, what to do next, what will I do?... Oh no, there it is, that word.
Do.

As I sit back and observe the battle of thoughts in my head where the left brain tries to logically work with my right brains creativity and the mish-mosh that sometimes happens in between (of which the balance to get me through a day is quite magical I must admit) Regardless... I am reminded of a little quote from one of my all time favorite movies, Across the Universe.

Dammit, Max! Get serious, for once! What are you going to DO with your life?

Why is it always what will I do? "What will he do", "What will he do", "Oh, my god what will he do", Do, do, do, do, do. Why isn't the issue who I am?

Because, Maxwell, what you do defines who you are.

No. Who you are defines what you do.


Thank you Max (right brain) for keeping Uncle Teddy (left brain) in line! ha
Anyway, my point being that life is not just something that you pass on through, for me life is something that takes some strategic effort... To let what you do be a representative of who you are... what if everyone that worked at some low end shit job let that represent who they are... okay so in some places this is the case but is that what you want to do with your life?

Express who you are, the rest will fall into place.

"The Buskaholic"

The Buskaholic was a guy I met in the hostle in Auckland, New Zealand... he roams the streets of Auckland playing guitar and singing little diddys, I rounded the corner one day to the familiar Pink Floyd tune of "Wish You Were Here" he was also my roomie in the dorm so one night we wrote a song and it went a little something like this....

Waiting for bedtime
Middle carolina will be just fine
No shoes on the bed
Try not to think about what she said
A swig of honey will make me feel good
like every girl from middle carolina should
A taste of home when i'm far away
dont believe everything this kiwi boy says

Went to Mt Eden didnt see the rock
Bought myself a 1/2 price jacket not a frock
The train will pick me up tomorrow
So i'm waiting for bedtime
Anytimes a good time
Everytimes the right time...

Chorus:
So I'm waiting for bedtime
I took it over for awhile
Anytimes good for a smile
Traveling around for awhile
Traveling around for a smile

Been some places, seen some things
Swig some honey, found some bees
Makes me feel at home when I'm not
like a fat joint of some skunky pot
or a simple rhyme going thru my head
Remembering the words you wrote while laying on my bed
Can you think of some words for me
to explain how I'm feeling
Now its past my bedtime but anytime you want to goto sleep is just fine
Maybe you can help me find a tune
While we wait you can swig some honey too

Chorus...

Don't put your stinky clothes by my bed
Anytimes a goodtime to goto sleep
Luckily I've already brushed my teeth
Living with the moment anytime is good
We built a labyrinth up in our hood
Its north but south or somewhere in between
A swig or a puff makes you feel at home anytime its mean.



Hahaha-Yea some places it makes sense, some places it doesnt, some places you can grab the tune, some places you cant but still fun! Welcome to a night in the hostel of Auckland.

May Day Mayday Mayday

I cannot get stuck, I cannot get stuck, I cannot get stuck... this is my biggest fear. So I went out and traveled around for a bit and loved it, now I'm in that place of 'recharge' and I do not want to let that place of recharge become everyday life. I have to keep traveling I have to keep moving. I have already been in the world of domestication and it doesnt work for me, I want more out of life. This requires a tricky balance between two varieties of 'real life' depending on your prospective.
So this is my mayday call to anyone that reads this, to not let me get in a routinely rut.

Spirits high, recharge, do it again-

Nomad Confession: What day is it again?

Recently I spent quite a bit of time in the airport, like 3 days worth of time. Of course I must be looking like an airport professional now as I just leave my bags by my seat to go brush my teeth and wash my face instead of listening to the rule of "dont leave your baggage unattended" ehh screw that... Once you have been in an airport longer than 8 hours that rule no longer applies to you (in my opinion)

Anyways... so people start to ask questions like you know everything...

"do you know why the plane is delayed?"

"no"

"hey where did you get that smoothie"

"at the smoothie shop over there" (obviously not at the ugg boot store-come on people!)

The one that got me though...

"Whats the date?"

Wooahhh....  I really have no idea, May something? no no.. in all actuality its still April but this brought me lots and lots of joy.  I truly love not knowing what day it is, not knowing what time it is, not having to be bothered by "its time to do this..." kinda stuff. When I'm hungry I get something to eat, when I'm sleepy I take a nap or go to bed, when I want to do what I want to do then I do it. I'm sure this will bite me in the ass when its back to the real world, and I'm okay with finding the discipline again but its quite exhilarating to feel what its like to live free and by your own accord. 

Try it, maybe just for a weekend if you can't just haul off halfway across the world, but truly do what you want when you want to without the expectation that you HAVE to do something. Let go, live a little, and enjoy it! But relish in the fact that you can come back to that discipline whenever you want to ;)

Dive In

Totally stoked to dive the Great Barrier Reef, Normans Reef to be exact about an hour and a half east of Port Douglas, Queensland Australia a few days ago. Its one of those things that I wanted to do since the Disney Channel aired Ocean Girl, where Nari swam with this humpback whale named Charlie. Ever since then I wanted to live in Australia, or at least go there and swim like Ocean Girl did. As I got older and older those memories and dreams diminished and were replaced by thoughts of bills and other bullshit that at the end of the day doesn’t even matter.

After actually diving the reef’s just like Nari did yesterday I feel refreshed that dreams are possible and that sometimes life gets in the way of really living. As I sat on the ocean floor, breathing in the tank O2 I actually had to ward off a panic attack… I know right, here I am living the dream I had as a kid and now I’m going to give that up for a panic attack, what the fuck no…. So I sat there, on the bottom and had a little meditation time with myself. Realizing that this was the first time I had dove without the comforts of someone I love being close by to save me or be close by if I needed saving, my mind went a little haywire. First it was, ohh gosh did I get a good breath, I did check my air but what if… and then it was, oh my-everythings looking a little fuzzy, is my brain shutting down and my eyes deciding not to work right… Ugh what the shit Kristen-Here you are, you have made your dream a reality and this is what you do to yourself, why do you try to self destruct? Not going to happen. So I took a couple breaths (probably sacrificing some good bottom time haha) and I got my shit together. Finally moving forward and making my way through the maze of a reef, checking out all sorts of beautiful colors, fish, movements, and of course other awkward divers-not that I’m not one but I like to think I learned from a pretty good instructor and can at least get my buoyancy and not get turned around and upside down.

So the question here is, why do we tend to let crazy nervous energy rule us? I’m sure  it is different from one person to another but maybe take a breath, move through the fear and take life head on.

These are some of the beautiful things you get to experience...

When it Rains, It Pours-Literally!

After 4 days of flooding rains in Fiji keeping me in the house, no sunshine and not really into a good book yet, I lost it... the crocodile tears began to stream down my face, that overwhelming feeling that I am a failure creeped its way into my head and I had a moment. A moment of breakdown, a moment of what am I doing with my life, everything I had planned has completely gone awry and I just want to go home and snuggle in my bed for a few days. This storm through Fiji was a once in 100 years type thing, I couldn't help but think... is the universe trying to tell me that I am not on the right path? Then a wise voice asked me, what if the universe is simply watching to see what you will do.
Shit.
You're right.
Scratch my head-Shit.
Alright, so as I gathered my thoughts and am preparing to spend all day online figuring things out-ohh power outage-for like 6 hours
This gave me some time that I was not expecting to settle, to think, to once again tell myself that all is well in the world and you can make things work.
Regardless of numbers, I'm going to Bethams in April to teach this retreat like I intended when I came here in the first place, I owe it to myself and to those who have opened their homes to me in order to make this happen. Stop being a pansy and make it happen, thats what you do Kristen, you manifest your destiny, so do it.

As of now,  have the retreat re-planned a new flyer made and ready to distribute, a weekend yoga class scheduled accompanied by a cleanup of the seawall and followed by a tasty lunch, and three intensives planned for three weeks. I'm feeling back on track and ready to go, again manifesting my world into what I want it to be while helping spread the yoga love to others.

When I say it rains, it pours I literally mean that it really did rain here, like a lot....

And when it rains, it pours and amazing things begin to happen, you know that thing called a rainbow at the end of a great flood-Sunshine after the rain yadi yadi yadi-yea, all of that stuff is happening now!
Here Comes the Sun :)

Shark Fin Soup, a Moral Dilemma

It's been raining for days now in Fiji, I made my way down the hill to town to go out to dinner and go to the cinema... night one we had japanese cook at your table food and watched wrath of the titans... totally awesome evening. We thought we would repeat on Sunday (since it was still rainy and gloomy) this time, luck was not on my side, I'll take the story backwards-we watched Mirror Mirror... yes with Julia Roberts, and it happened to involve things that I have a fear of, such as dwarfs (which I should have known would be in it) and wooden puppets... Prior to all of this we went to get some dinner, Chinese right... all was well until
there it was.
on the menu.
right beside what i wanted to get.

shark fin soup.

oh shit, what do I do? I dont want to give my money to a place that sells shark fin soup, but I've already ordered, oh gosh oh gosh oh gosh.... then the tears begin to flood my eye lids. I sit in a state of moral limbo. The lady comes back and they don't have what I wanted, so I cancel my order all together and sit as my friends eat (I had a small bowl of rice that they forfitted)

I was not expecting to be hit with such a flood of emotions, I know its wrong what they do to the sharks, it's sick in fact. I also realize that sharks are not the only animals that this happens to, but for some reason it hits so heavy on my heart for an animal of the sea to be pulled from its home, and plopped on a plate, much less.. pulled from its home, have its fin cut off and then be left for whatever the universe has in store for it. I have seen a picture of a shark without its dorsal fin, it lived-yay! But isnt the dorsal fin the distinguishing mark of a shark...
What if someone cut off your distinguishing mark? People always tell me, oh your eyes they are so big and beautiful, what if all of a sudden in a hungar games style arena my eyes were taken from me... Think about it for just a minute... the waste, the waste of materials and the waste of energies for a bowl of soup... ugh, makes me sick.

Take a stand, don't give your money to places that do things you are not in favor of... Stop Shark Finning...


http://www.stopsharkfinning.net/