Nomad Confession: What day is it again?

Recently I spent quite a bit of time in the airport, like 3 days worth of time. Of course I must be looking like an airport professional now as I just leave my bags by my seat to go brush my teeth and wash my face instead of listening to the rule of "dont leave your baggage unattended" ehh screw that... Once you have been in an airport longer than 8 hours that rule no longer applies to you (in my opinion)

Anyways... so people start to ask questions like you know everything...

"do you know why the plane is delayed?"

"no"

"hey where did you get that smoothie"

"at the smoothie shop over there" (obviously not at the ugg boot store-come on people!)

The one that got me though...

"Whats the date?"

Wooahhh....  I really have no idea, May something? no no.. in all actuality its still April but this brought me lots and lots of joy.  I truly love not knowing what day it is, not knowing what time it is, not having to be bothered by "its time to do this..." kinda stuff. When I'm hungry I get something to eat, when I'm sleepy I take a nap or go to bed, when I want to do what I want to do then I do it. I'm sure this will bite me in the ass when its back to the real world, and I'm okay with finding the discipline again but its quite exhilarating to feel what its like to live free and by your own accord. 

Try it, maybe just for a weekend if you can't just haul off halfway across the world, but truly do what you want when you want to without the expectation that you HAVE to do something. Let go, live a little, and enjoy it! But relish in the fact that you can come back to that discipline whenever you want to ;)

Dive In

Totally stoked to dive the Great Barrier Reef, Normans Reef to be exact about an hour and a half east of Port Douglas, Queensland Australia a few days ago. Its one of those things that I wanted to do since the Disney Channel aired Ocean Girl, where Nari swam with this humpback whale named Charlie. Ever since then I wanted to live in Australia, or at least go there and swim like Ocean Girl did. As I got older and older those memories and dreams diminished and were replaced by thoughts of bills and other bullshit that at the end of the day doesn’t even matter.

After actually diving the reef’s just like Nari did yesterday I feel refreshed that dreams are possible and that sometimes life gets in the way of really living. As I sat on the ocean floor, breathing in the tank O2 I actually had to ward off a panic attack… I know right, here I am living the dream I had as a kid and now I’m going to give that up for a panic attack, what the fuck no…. So I sat there, on the bottom and had a little meditation time with myself. Realizing that this was the first time I had dove without the comforts of someone I love being close by to save me or be close by if I needed saving, my mind went a little haywire. First it was, ohh gosh did I get a good breath, I did check my air but what if… and then it was, oh my-everythings looking a little fuzzy, is my brain shutting down and my eyes deciding not to work right… Ugh what the shit Kristen-Here you are, you have made your dream a reality and this is what you do to yourself, why do you try to self destruct? Not going to happen. So I took a couple breaths (probably sacrificing some good bottom time haha) and I got my shit together. Finally moving forward and making my way through the maze of a reef, checking out all sorts of beautiful colors, fish, movements, and of course other awkward divers-not that I’m not one but I like to think I learned from a pretty good instructor and can at least get my buoyancy and not get turned around and upside down.

So the question here is, why do we tend to let crazy nervous energy rule us? I’m sure  it is different from one person to another but maybe take a breath, move through the fear and take life head on.

These are some of the beautiful things you get to experience...

When it Rains, It Pours-Literally!

After 4 days of flooding rains in Fiji keeping me in the house, no sunshine and not really into a good book yet, I lost it... the crocodile tears began to stream down my face, that overwhelming feeling that I am a failure creeped its way into my head and I had a moment. A moment of breakdown, a moment of what am I doing with my life, everything I had planned has completely gone awry and I just want to go home and snuggle in my bed for a few days. This storm through Fiji was a once in 100 years type thing, I couldn't help but think... is the universe trying to tell me that I am not on the right path? Then a wise voice asked me, what if the universe is simply watching to see what you will do.
Shit.
You're right.
Scratch my head-Shit.
Alright, so as I gathered my thoughts and am preparing to spend all day online figuring things out-ohh power outage-for like 6 hours
This gave me some time that I was not expecting to settle, to think, to once again tell myself that all is well in the world and you can make things work.
Regardless of numbers, I'm going to Bethams in April to teach this retreat like I intended when I came here in the first place, I owe it to myself and to those who have opened their homes to me in order to make this happen. Stop being a pansy and make it happen, thats what you do Kristen, you manifest your destiny, so do it.

As of now,  have the retreat re-planned a new flyer made and ready to distribute, a weekend yoga class scheduled accompanied by a cleanup of the seawall and followed by a tasty lunch, and three intensives planned for three weeks. I'm feeling back on track and ready to go, again manifesting my world into what I want it to be while helping spread the yoga love to others.

When I say it rains, it pours I literally mean that it really did rain here, like a lot....

And when it rains, it pours and amazing things begin to happen, you know that thing called a rainbow at the end of a great flood-Sunshine after the rain yadi yadi yadi-yea, all of that stuff is happening now!
Here Comes the Sun :)

Shark Fin Soup, a Moral Dilemma

It's been raining for days now in Fiji, I made my way down the hill to town to go out to dinner and go to the cinema... night one we had japanese cook at your table food and watched wrath of the titans... totally awesome evening. We thought we would repeat on Sunday (since it was still rainy and gloomy) this time, luck was not on my side, I'll take the story backwards-we watched Mirror Mirror... yes with Julia Roberts, and it happened to involve things that I have a fear of, such as dwarfs (which I should have known would be in it) and wooden puppets... Prior to all of this we went to get some dinner, Chinese right... all was well until
there it was.
on the menu.
right beside what i wanted to get.

shark fin soup.

oh shit, what do I do? I dont want to give my money to a place that sells shark fin soup, but I've already ordered, oh gosh oh gosh oh gosh.... then the tears begin to flood my eye lids. I sit in a state of moral limbo. The lady comes back and they don't have what I wanted, so I cancel my order all together and sit as my friends eat (I had a small bowl of rice that they forfitted)

I was not expecting to be hit with such a flood of emotions, I know its wrong what they do to the sharks, it's sick in fact. I also realize that sharks are not the only animals that this happens to, but for some reason it hits so heavy on my heart for an animal of the sea to be pulled from its home, and plopped on a plate, much less.. pulled from its home, have its fin cut off and then be left for whatever the universe has in store for it. I have seen a picture of a shark without its dorsal fin, it lived-yay! But isnt the dorsal fin the distinguishing mark of a shark...
What if someone cut off your distinguishing mark? People always tell me, oh your eyes they are so big and beautiful, what if all of a sudden in a hungar games style arena my eyes were taken from me... Think about it for just a minute... the waste, the waste of materials and the waste of energies for a bowl of soup... ugh, makes me sick.

Take a stand, don't give your money to places that do things you are not in favor of... Stop Shark Finning...


http://www.stopsharkfinning.net/


  

MapMaker, MapMaker...

I'm stealing this from that song from childhood, Matchmaker matchmaker make me a match... and instead its... Map maker, map maker make me a map.... and I will go to New Zealand and Australia next week yay!!! In fact I am the map maker and I am in fact also the maker of my own destiny. Some days there are things like weather that put a kink in your plan, today for instance when I am supposed to be in Nananu-i-ra preparing to welcome my yogis to my yoga retreat... But when it rains about 7 meters in a day, plans change.

As I battled most of the afternoon with what to do, reschedule the retreat? Get a bus to take everyone up first thing in the morning? Cancel it all together and go home with my tail between my legs? What the hell... no Kristen, you suck it up and trust you made the right decision. Sure some people may not be able to come on the rescheduled day but its better to keep everyone safe then risk it all for a 'plan' or some kind of 'schedule'

Didnt I quit my job and decide to travel the world and teach yoga because I wanted to get away from a 'plan' I wanted to experience what life is like when things are not set into some kind of 'schedule' so whats my problem...!

Get over it Kristen, the universe works in funny ways and this is one of its mysteries, so get our your parchment and quill and make a new map, maybe this one will be flat, maybe it will be in the shape of a raindrop, maybe it will be round, but get creative and let the ink fly... trust in the process and trust in your instincts. The prana, that life energy, the breath, has had much more experience in map making over the last thousands of years than my 29 measly years so let go, have some faith.

You can make the world whatever you want it to be, and I can guarantee there are things for me to learn about in Oz and NZ before I teach the retreat and I'm open to those lessons, from people, from places, and from that feeling of Awe.

Embrace each moment, for it has a story, a map in and of itself, that can show you things so long as you have the eyes to see it. Travel on friend....

But for real, thats a lot of f'ing water and thats just from this morning... send some love and blue skies if you would!

And just for fun... a little tune for you... hehe

Whats in your pack?

So, I was all stoked before I left for Fiji about planning what and how I was going to pack my pack, you always see things online, tips of the trade etc. on how to keep organized. One thing suggested putting clothes in plastic bags to make like a chest of drawers in your pack... ok I tried it, I didnt have anything better to do one day, it was awkward. For the OCD organized person maybe that will work but for anyone who knows me, I am the queen of organized chaos. I like things to be a little disheveled... I know where they are, and its if you dont! After chucking this chest of drawers idea, I gently rolled my clothes and packed them away. My biggest and most bulky item being my yoga mat, but when youre traveling to teach a yoga retreat, you take a yoga mat. There is something calming about carrying your own sacred space around with you on your back, its very... turtlesk :) yes I will make that word up...

Anyways, I've already ditched some items, like the little campy pillow and blanket I was excited to use on the plane until they actually have tiny pillows and blankets on the plane, not to mention its hot as shit in Fiji so who needs a blanket. If it wassnt for mosquitos and 20 person dorms I would sleep naked every night. So I conveniently left those items at the hostel, perhaps the next person coming thru will be traveling to Antarctica, bless them...

I have a love hate relationship with my second bag, its just a smaller backpack, nothing fancy but it holds my computer well and the notebooks I couldnt stand to leave at home full of yoga facts and fun for my retreat. I find that I just drop things in random pockets, again the organized chaos... but at the end of the day that is what its all about, trying to roll clothes to keep lots of space only makes a backpack with a heavy ass, and only keeps things from wrinkling half the time. Its part of what we do, stuff clothes in random pockets, wear things that are wrinkly, forget to shave because... I really just dont know where my razor is! If I wanted to be all prim and proper and wear super cute and fancy clothes all the time I would have stayed home, but no... I chose to travel, I chose to live out of a bag for 3 months, I chose to take my awkward yoga notebooks and sacred yoga space with me because thats who I am, and I am okay with that!

So what does that all mean? Be yourself.

If you like to pack boxes and travel with cutsy dresses across the world, do it.

If you like to make cabinets in your bags, do it.

If you like to take something on a vacation even though everyone else thinks your crazy, do it.

Just be you, be happy with your decisions, and know that you can always ditch the tiny pillow and blanket :) Have fun, be awkward, laugh at how much shit you dont need and rock on!!

Happy travels ya'll

Chase The Sun

Wake up, get on a plane and chase the sun across the sky...

I had changed my seat on the plane and was for some reason sat beside a girl who was on her way to lax for rehab, coming off of opium... interesting sight, she popped about 5 pills, drank a vodka drink and coffee and orange juice within about 4 hours, she was in rough shape, but I found some compassion for her, she was on her way to a new life.

In LA I freaked out, what the hell am I doing... I contemplated not getting on the plane at all and just going back to charlotte, especially when I thought I was going to puke at the gate... but I had a pep talk from a couple different people and got on the plane. A bajillion hours later and about 12 interrupted naps here I am! Elian who was supposed to pick me up from the airport is a trip, his car broke down so I took a cab, he took me back later to exchange money and we picked up 2 other travelers, kinda fun to act like I knew what I was doing holding signs for people to come on over!

Sat on the beach, watched a cloud turn from a wolf to a fish before completely dissapearing into the blue blue sky. Ready to move, this place is great and so are the people but I'm ready for Suva. Two nights here, and then down thru the coral coast for a night or two and then to Suva. Find my yoga ladies and settle in.

Weighing heavy on my heart.... Carolyn, my dear momma hen passed away the night before my flight left the states. Im sad I missed the funeral arrangements, but selfishly I am happy I talked to her before she couldnt remember anyone and that she passed before I left the states. With tears in my eyes I know shes in an awesome place and I know shes proud of me. I have nothing to prove, just out to do what I want to do and that is explore this vast world and take some yoga with me!

xoxo

k10