Fly, Be Free

I want to be free, I want to fly, I want to follow my dreams and live... well I can honestly say that this weekend I was able to fulfill those things within my life. It was a crazy 4 days that I will remember forever. Complete with love, life, and spontaneous happenings.

From December 2011, I found this today. Let it be a reminder to always have your wings handy!

We are connected

Recently took a small hiatus and hopped a plane to Miami to meet up with my lovely friend and her family from the UK. I rented a car, we drove to Key West-stopping off along the way to eat chocolate chip pancakes, feed the tarpon, and kayak through the mangroves anxiously hoping to see the lady alligator but with no avail. Once in Key West I soaked up the culture of pirates, yankees, and cubans before directing the car in the ascending direction of mile markers. Then the massive storm it that threw me for a loop... whats this once beautifully scenic 7 mile bridge that now makes me feel like I am looking down the barrel of a shotgun... All I could see was black black and more black OH and when the lightening struck the water on both sides of the bridge I could see gray... and again yoga breaths come in handy! After way too many hours in the storm we made it back to the hotel and spent the next day relaxing on the beach to let go of the built up anxiety of such a drive.
I to soon had to embark on a return plane home, leaving my lovely new friends to aquaint with old ones back in NC. Time for my most favorite Barta Billfish Tournament 2012. It was a first for me to work the tournament as a non-resident, which meant I had a room at the trusty Inlet Inn (where growing up I sat on the balcony and told ghost stories with my dad of old scraggaly pirates that ran loose in the town) This was a whole new experience... to be just a few blocks away from where everything was happening was amazing. So after the event each night when we had our celebratory drinks I only had to walk a block and a half-genius!
The best part about this years tournament though was standing at the cocktail party standing amongst a group of people I have grown to love and adore more and more each and every year, hearing Tred Barta talk about living each moment to its fullest. To hear someone use those words and know know in your heart that you have been doing that is an amazing feeling. I hope that everyone gets to experience that feeling of elation at least once in their lives.

The entire week between Miami, Key West, and Beaufort held an amazing amount of humility and emotion for me. To connect with people who live far away but realizing they will always be close in my heart, and only a plane ride away is amazing. To know that I have truly lived the last year of my life is amazing. To connect with people I have known for years but to see them in a different light based on the previous years challenges and rewards is Amazing (with a capital a)

To have the eyes to see and the ears to hear when the sea whispers the intentions of life into your soul is a gift I always want to be in tune with. The sea has my heart. We are all connected.

Do

Where to go next, what to do next, what will I do?... Oh no, there it is, that word.
Do.

As I sit back and observe the battle of thoughts in my head where the left brain tries to logically work with my right brains creativity and the mish-mosh that sometimes happens in between (of which the balance to get me through a day is quite magical I must admit) Regardless... I am reminded of a little quote from one of my all time favorite movies, Across the Universe.

Dammit, Max! Get serious, for once! What are you going to DO with your life?

Why is it always what will I do? "What will he do", "What will he do", "Oh, my god what will he do", Do, do, do, do, do. Why isn't the issue who I am?

Because, Maxwell, what you do defines who you are.

No. Who you are defines what you do.


Thank you Max (right brain) for keeping Uncle Teddy (left brain) in line! ha
Anyway, my point being that life is not just something that you pass on through, for me life is something that takes some strategic effort... To let what you do be a representative of who you are... what if everyone that worked at some low end shit job let that represent who they are... okay so in some places this is the case but is that what you want to do with your life?

Express who you are, the rest will fall into place.

"The Buskaholic"

The Buskaholic was a guy I met in the hostle in Auckland, New Zealand... he roams the streets of Auckland playing guitar and singing little diddys, I rounded the corner one day to the familiar Pink Floyd tune of "Wish You Were Here" he was also my roomie in the dorm so one night we wrote a song and it went a little something like this....

Waiting for bedtime
Middle carolina will be just fine
No shoes on the bed
Try not to think about what she said
A swig of honey will make me feel good
like every girl from middle carolina should
A taste of home when i'm far away
dont believe everything this kiwi boy says

Went to Mt Eden didnt see the rock
Bought myself a 1/2 price jacket not a frock
The train will pick me up tomorrow
So i'm waiting for bedtime
Anytimes a good time
Everytimes the right time...

Chorus:
So I'm waiting for bedtime
I took it over for awhile
Anytimes good for a smile
Traveling around for awhile
Traveling around for a smile

Been some places, seen some things
Swig some honey, found some bees
Makes me feel at home when I'm not
like a fat joint of some skunky pot
or a simple rhyme going thru my head
Remembering the words you wrote while laying on my bed
Can you think of some words for me
to explain how I'm feeling
Now its past my bedtime but anytime you want to goto sleep is just fine
Maybe you can help me find a tune
While we wait you can swig some honey too

Chorus...

Don't put your stinky clothes by my bed
Anytimes a goodtime to goto sleep
Luckily I've already brushed my teeth
Living with the moment anytime is good
We built a labyrinth up in our hood
Its north but south or somewhere in between
A swig or a puff makes you feel at home anytime its mean.



Hahaha-Yea some places it makes sense, some places it doesnt, some places you can grab the tune, some places you cant but still fun! Welcome to a night in the hostel of Auckland.

May Day Mayday Mayday

I cannot get stuck, I cannot get stuck, I cannot get stuck... this is my biggest fear. So I went out and traveled around for a bit and loved it, now I'm in that place of 'recharge' and I do not want to let that place of recharge become everyday life. I have to keep traveling I have to keep moving. I have already been in the world of domestication and it doesnt work for me, I want more out of life. This requires a tricky balance between two varieties of 'real life' depending on your prospective.
So this is my mayday call to anyone that reads this, to not let me get in a routinely rut.

Spirits high, recharge, do it again-

Nomad Confession: What day is it again?

Recently I spent quite a bit of time in the airport, like 3 days worth of time. Of course I must be looking like an airport professional now as I just leave my bags by my seat to go brush my teeth and wash my face instead of listening to the rule of "dont leave your baggage unattended" ehh screw that... Once you have been in an airport longer than 8 hours that rule no longer applies to you (in my opinion)

Anyways... so people start to ask questions like you know everything...

"do you know why the plane is delayed?"

"no"

"hey where did you get that smoothie"

"at the smoothie shop over there" (obviously not at the ugg boot store-come on people!)

The one that got me though...

"Whats the date?"

Wooahhh....  I really have no idea, May something? no no.. in all actuality its still April but this brought me lots and lots of joy.  I truly love not knowing what day it is, not knowing what time it is, not having to be bothered by "its time to do this..." kinda stuff. When I'm hungry I get something to eat, when I'm sleepy I take a nap or go to bed, when I want to do what I want to do then I do it. I'm sure this will bite me in the ass when its back to the real world, and I'm okay with finding the discipline again but its quite exhilarating to feel what its like to live free and by your own accord. 

Try it, maybe just for a weekend if you can't just haul off halfway across the world, but truly do what you want when you want to without the expectation that you HAVE to do something. Let go, live a little, and enjoy it! But relish in the fact that you can come back to that discipline whenever you want to ;)

Dive In

Totally stoked to dive the Great Barrier Reef, Normans Reef to be exact about an hour and a half east of Port Douglas, Queensland Australia a few days ago. Its one of those things that I wanted to do since the Disney Channel aired Ocean Girl, where Nari swam with this humpback whale named Charlie. Ever since then I wanted to live in Australia, or at least go there and swim like Ocean Girl did. As I got older and older those memories and dreams diminished and were replaced by thoughts of bills and other bullshit that at the end of the day doesn’t even matter.

After actually diving the reef’s just like Nari did yesterday I feel refreshed that dreams are possible and that sometimes life gets in the way of really living. As I sat on the ocean floor, breathing in the tank O2 I actually had to ward off a panic attack… I know right, here I am living the dream I had as a kid and now I’m going to give that up for a panic attack, what the fuck no…. So I sat there, on the bottom and had a little meditation time with myself. Realizing that this was the first time I had dove without the comforts of someone I love being close by to save me or be close by if I needed saving, my mind went a little haywire. First it was, ohh gosh did I get a good breath, I did check my air but what if… and then it was, oh my-everythings looking a little fuzzy, is my brain shutting down and my eyes deciding not to work right… Ugh what the shit Kristen-Here you are, you have made your dream a reality and this is what you do to yourself, why do you try to self destruct? Not going to happen. So I took a couple breaths (probably sacrificing some good bottom time haha) and I got my shit together. Finally moving forward and making my way through the maze of a reef, checking out all sorts of beautiful colors, fish, movements, and of course other awkward divers-not that I’m not one but I like to think I learned from a pretty good instructor and can at least get my buoyancy and not get turned around and upside down.

So the question here is, why do we tend to let crazy nervous energy rule us? I’m sure  it is different from one person to another but maybe take a breath, move through the fear and take life head on.

These are some of the beautiful things you get to experience...