I tried to warn myself...

I woke this morning, at 6am, to the moo-ing of someones escaped cow in the yard, dogs barking, howling, making a fuss... I thought, oh boy, this is going to be a day. I tried to sleep but tossed and turned thinking-surely they will be quiet soon.

A few simple, but important, things were on the docket as "supposed to happen today" skype dates with a long lost love, and exciting weekend plans sorted out... When I awoke to this moo, I actually thought, don't get too excited, don't have any expectations for todays outcome.

But I'm a girl of hope, a cup half full, find the best in people, live life kind of girl and as all the plans I was excited about today diminished one by one, my spirit went with it. "I'm always giving, I'm always offering, I'm always... setting myself up for disappointment?

Living a life of hope isn't as easy as it would seem, it takes work and that work occasionally involves two or more people. Does hope have a definition when more than just yourself is involved? Is hope something that can only happen when you can only hope with yourself as to not be disappointed in anyone but your own expectations and avoidance of being let down?

I don't know, but in my quest for this answer I have learned that for me, I will continue to have hope in myself and in other people. Being disappointed brings a third chakra push, and that push makes me feel alive. It asks me to continue having hope that people will eventually start to understand, and if they don't, that is on them, and that is not my shit.

I will continue to have hope, and I'm sure I will continue to be occasionally disappointed. The duality of life shows me that its okay, for without disappointment would there be an observed gain of happiness?

"May the wind always be on your back and the sun always upon your face

and may the winds of destiny carry you aloft to dance with the stars..."

Stitches

I have this cut, it's kind of big and it needed stitches... It's going to take some time to heal. Every few days something happens-And I know it's time to take out one stitch! It's a bit surreal, sometimes I want to hold onto my stitches, to not let them go, to scar.

Then I yoga.

I breathe in expansion. 

I recognize that there will always be a memory, a taste of my past wound. I may talk about it, I may not, but one way or another I will love it, for it is a part of me and it always will be. But sometimes the stitches itch, so I must slowly remove them, one by one, breathing in and breathing out. Taking in the moment and the feel of releasing the sew from my skins bind. Sometimes a tear will fall, but in the end it's all ok. 

Why? 

Because I was gentle. I was observant. I gave myself permission to feel...

And that's how I was able to heal.

Just Keep Living

There was a time, not so long ago, where I was in this process of letting go... Ya know the whole idea of non attachment, Aparigraha from the Yamas & Niyamas. It's hard when you love someone but you have to let them be who they are and let them live the life they want, with or without you. So you let it go, and you let it be. I was having a hard time letting this go, but it was the culmination of someone wrecking and totaling my car, plus someone hacking my bank account and stealing all my money for me to realize that to be patient and to not let things get stuck you literally have to keep moving.

Move through the gunk...

After sorting through everything, buying myself a car payment that I didn't necessarily want for a car that I absolutely love, and getting reimbursed from my bank a week later, everything came together the day before I was to travel to Colorado for a long weekend. 

As I hiked up to a little spot called Horsetooth with my best friend, I put one foot in front of the other, I realized that is all of life. One step in front of the other, move through the gunk, live, smile, and love, love, love. Let go, Aparigraha, the others side, the top of the mountain, is beautiful and worth the hike.

Live, Love, Laugh and Wonder!

Recently I took a little trip over the big blue sea to Thailand, Cambodia, and the Great Wall of China. An amazing experience filled with new and unexpected friendships and more pins on my world map. All things I love about travel. 

While in Cambodia, I had the opportunity to visit Angkor Wat, ancient ruins from the 1200's, a beautiful site set for a king. While in Thailand, I had the opportunity to explore ancient Wats in Bangkok (and leave my phone in a hot pink cab with a Buddha on the dash-while frustrating, humbling). While at The Great Wall I had the opportunity to stand on this wonder of the world and gaze across vast valleys and mountains. At all of these sites I had the opportunity to truly wonder... 

I wonder what it was like at Angkor Wat during its hayday, people roaming in and out of the twisting hallways, but with intention.

I wonder what it was like in Bangkok hundreds of years ago when there were no tourists visiting the reclining Buddha and visitors lit their incense and said a prayer with intention.

I wonder what it was like on the Great Wall of China, to be the emperor, just seeing the conclusion of the project you put so much intention into.

Then I start to think how I want to live everyday with intention. I don't want to just mosey through life, I want to live it, I want to love, I want to take chances, I want to wonder.

So my challenge for you, is to take a day, take a week, take a vacation and be bold, set intentions, live those intentions and watch the wonderment unfold!

Embrace life, hold the sun in the palm of your hand and make a promise to yourself... Live, love, laugh and wonder! 

Time to Elevé!

Hey Triad North Carolina, there is a new yoga studio in town and you MUST check it out! Situated in the heart of downtown Kernersville, NC is an old factory, that for years was run down and simply rubbish. It has now been refurbished and all of the character saved. Exposed beams, wooden floors, and just enough of an industrial look to give this place the unique and beautiful look it deserves, this is where you will find Studio Elevé.

As yoga grows in popularity so does the price for a class, Studio Elevé is keeping things chill and keeping prices affordable. I have been to a lot of studios that are not nearly as nice and they charge close to $20 per class. Studio Elevé offers classes with well trained teacher of both yoga and dance. They are authentic in their being and in their teaching. Can I mention the studio is beautiful! 

Mark McCullough cofounded Studio Elevé with Christine Spizzo who is very well recognized in the ballet community. Mark has taught with her in the arts and dance community for years, specifically with the NC School of the Arts. Their spirits are true and their hearts in the right place, simply bringing what they love, what has transformed their lives so much, to the local community at a price that speaks volumes. 

Kernersville, Winston Salem, Oak Ridge, ya best get your stretchy pants ready and head over to check it out. In addition to yoga they also offer dance, zumba, tai chi, pilates, and hoop dance. Check out their website, www.studioeleve.com, find them on Facebook-Studio Elevé-and make sure you stop in for a class. They are offering couples yoga over valentines day weekend for $25, 3 hours and includes yoga, wine, and chocolate all local from the factory shops!!

Finding Your True North

That moment when you realize you've become lazy and your life is off kilter from where you thought you would be. The reason for your laziness is fear. The fear that's been cooped up inside and you didn't know was even there. The fear that stems from loneliness and the inspiration to help you push past the fear is the one you're most lonely without.

Quite the catch 22.

Fear is my inspiration and inspiration is my fear. With it I'm not lonely, my life doesn't feel off track and I can feel like me. I want to strive for the things I love because that's when I feel love and when i can give love. I'm questioned, called out on my excuses, and as a result I am allowed to safely dive deep into my own soul, my own self, my own true north. To be vulnerable, and move past my own hiccups, to forgive myself, let things go, to start fresh. 

My fear is losing that...it's a soul connection which was unexpected. An unconditional love that was unexpected. A foundation of truth which has rocked me to my core-to see me. 

How do I keep it? How do I express my appreciation for it? How do I not push it away? 

Be Strong.

Cry when you need to.

Be Strong.

Let it fly, support it, love it, be by its side, explore with it, let go of the outcome with it, and always, always, be thankful you have it.

Get up, motivate, create

For that is beautiful.

And that fuels strength.

Make a difference,

Let love do its own job,

You do yours.

Trust.

The Alchemist

Whenever we do something that fills us with enthusiasm, we are following our legend. However, we don't all have the courage to confront our own dream.

Why?

The four obstacles

We're told from childhood onward that everything we want to do is impossible. There comes a time when our personal calling is so deeply buried in our soul it seems invisible. But it's still there

If we have the courage to dream, we are soon faced by the second obstacle. Love. We know what we want to do but we are afraid of hurting those around us by abandoning everything in order to pursue our dream. We don't realize that those close to us who genuinely wish us well want us to be happy and are prepared to accompany us on that journey.

Once we have accepted love as a stimulus, we run into the fear of our defeats. We who fight for our dreams suffer far more worse when it doesn't work out because we can no longer fall back on the old excuse of "oh well, I didn't really want it anyway" because we do really want it. We know that the path of personal calling is no easier than any other path except that our whole heart is in this journey. We know the universe is conspiring in our favor and now it is our job to practice patience, even though we may not fully understand how. 

Once we have recognized these three obstacles, then comes the fourth... The fear of realizing the dream for which we fought all our lives. This is the. Most dangerous of the obstacles because it has a saintly aura about it. Renouncing joy and conquest. But if you believe yourself worthy of the thing you fought so hard to get, then you become an instrument of god, you help the soul of the world, and you understand why you are here.

Thank you "The Alchemist"