Stitches

I have this cut, it's kind of big and it needed stitches... It's going to take some time to heal. Every few days something happens-And I know it's time to take out one stitch! It's a bit surreal, sometimes I want to hold onto my stitches, to not let them go, to scar.

Then I yoga.

I breathe in expansion. 

I recognize that there will always be a memory, a taste of my past wound. I may talk about it, I may not, but one way or another I will love it, for it is a part of me and it always will be. But sometimes the stitches itch, so I must slowly remove them, one by one, breathing in and breathing out. Taking in the moment and the feel of releasing the sew from my skins bind. Sometimes a tear will fall, but in the end it's all ok. 

Why? 

Because I was gentle. I was observant. I gave myself permission to feel...

And that's how I was able to heal.

Just Keep Living

There was a time, not so long ago, where I was in this process of letting go... Ya know the whole idea of non attachment, Aparigraha from the Yamas & Niyamas. It's hard when you love someone but you have to let them be who they are and let them live the life they want, with or without you. So you let it go, and you let it be. I was having a hard time letting this go, but it was the culmination of someone wrecking and totaling my car, plus someone hacking my bank account and stealing all my money for me to realize that to be patient and to not let things get stuck you literally have to keep moving.

Move through the gunk...

After sorting through everything, buying myself a car payment that I didn't necessarily want for a car that I absolutely love, and getting reimbursed from my bank a week later, everything came together the day before I was to travel to Colorado for a long weekend. 

As I hiked up to a little spot called Horsetooth with my best friend, I put one foot in front of the other, I realized that is all of life. One step in front of the other, move through the gunk, live, smile, and love, love, love. Let go, Aparigraha, the others side, the top of the mountain, is beautiful and worth the hike.